The Basics
Age: 50, born March 21, 1968
Blood: Pure
Wand: Oak, dragon heartstring, 14 inches
Appearance: Wesley stands at 5’9” and weighs roughly 162 lbs. His frame is neither thin nor heavy, but is happily in the middle; much of his weight comes from muscle. He makes a conscientious effort to keep in shape, which he says adds some routine to his otherwise shapeless life. He has what could be described as a mischievous face that is able to conform itself to an almost endless array of expressions. His hair is dark brown and his eyes are a grayish green.

School and Work
Graduation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, class of 1986
OWLs/NEWTs:
OWLs
Astronomy A
Charms EE
Defense Against the Dark Arts O
Herbology EE
History of Magic A
Potions EE
Transfiguration EE
Care of Magical Creatures O
Ancient Runes EE

NEWTs
Charms O
Defense Against the Dark Arts O
Potions EE
Transfiguration EE
Care of Magical Creatures O
Ancient Runes O
Current Occupation: Freelance journalist

History:
Childhood
Jordan and Rachel Coleman were children of the 60’s. They were in the same year at Hogwarts, and when they graduated in ’66 they got married and ran off to America, chasing the British Invasion bands on their US tours. However, it wasn’t much more than a year before Rachel’s pregnancy forced the young couple to return to Jordan’s parents’ house in London. After Wesley’s birth in March of 1968, his parents stayed a mere two months before returning to America, leaving their son to be raised by his grandparents.

Victor and Gretchen Coleman were much less wayward than their son, and they tried to instill their hard-working and proper values in little Wesley, mostly by constantly telling him how foolishly his parents had thrown their lives away. Contrary to making the boy a decent, contributing citizen, these stories only served to convince Wesley that his parents must have been having way more fun than he was, and he was very jealous of their lifestyle. From a young age, it became clear that Wesley was very much his father’s son.

Hogwarts
Wesley was sorted into Slytherin House, and there he quickly became the odd one out. He was just too bloody cheerful for most of them, though his talent for being genuinely jovial and insulting at the same time was secretly admired by more than one of his housemates.

Academically Wesley went through ups and downs. He could be very clever when properly motivated, but it was rare for him to feel such dedication to his schoolwork. He coasted through his courses, always managing to pass, until fifth year; exasperated with Wesley’s casual attitude towards O.W.L.s, his professors sent him unanimously to speak with Headmaster Dumbledore. In the rest of his Hogwarts career after the talk, Wesley regularly completed a large portion of his coursework. When asked about the change, he would reply that he didn’t mind doing the favor for Dumbledore, whom he was fond of. The man could take a joke, after all.

Adulthood
After graduation, Wesley attempted several occupations, not out of a desire to work or a sense of duty but simply because he needed money to fund his lackadaisical interests. He didn’t last long in any of them. He wasn’t incompetent in any job; his short-lived employment usually ended because he stopped showing up for work and was, expectedly, fired. It would be five years before Wesley discovered his true calling:

Freelance journalism.

Being the sort of man who is amused by everything, and also given to occasionally poetic and usually verbose language, Wesley happened by chance to discover that he could write an entertaining opinion article from time to time. After writing what he considered to be a hilarious editorial about adapting the Muggle tie-dye trend for wizarding robes (which in his opinion were quite silly enough already), he sold it on a whim to The Daily Prophet. The article was well-received thanks to its refreshing humor in the increasingly tense atmosphere of the wizarding community. Wesley turned down the offer of being a syndicated writer for the paper, contenting himself with writing things and selling them to the highest paying printer.

Once Wesley had saved enough money, he took an extended trip to America to see if he couldn’t find his parents—not because he felt any familial connection to them, but because he just decided one day that he wanted to know them. Thanks to this trip, he missed the entirety of the Second War. Thinking back on it later, Wesley decided that it had probably been a good thing. Pureblooded though he was, Wesley aligned himself with neither side and would have been awful at not offending either of them.

His grandparents both died in 1998 and left him their townhouse in London, where he continues to live by himself. Wesley has never even contemplated marriage, having enough consideration to realize that no woman could possibly tolerate him.

Personality: Wesley is primarily concerned with one thing in life: his own amusement. Whenever possible, he turns harmless comments into jokes and innuendos. His humor is somewhat merciless, because he rather self-centeredly expects the other person to see things from his perspective and find it just as funny, so he doesn’t censor himself. Obviously, this is not always the case, especially with people who are encountering Wes for the first time. As such, he’s often perceived as rude and insufferable. Ever the ray of sunshine, Wesley is not one to be bothered by his overall lack of real friends, nor has he ever felt inclined to alter his behavior to spare the feelings of another person.

As is only to be expected with a person so inherently selfish, Wesley’s work ethic is decidedly nonexistent. However, he is not lazy; quite the contrary, he maintains a very active existence. He is spontaneity personified; his only routine is his morning workout. Once through with that, there’s no telling where he’ll go or what he’ll do. He may stay home. He may write. He may go out. He may buy things. He may pretend to be homeless for a day. He might conjure up a soapbox and orate about nothing in the middle of Diagon Alley. Wesley is interested in instant gratification regardless of the consequences.

Even if he doesn’t mind them, though, consequences do sometimes come back to haunt him, as they are wont to do. Luckily for Wes, he is just as good at getting out of trouble as he is at getting into it. Even if he can’t come up with a legitimate way around the confrontation, he is able to take a more abstract approach to gaining his freedom. As a writer Wesley verges on the verbose, and if he can’t talk his way out of something he is invariably released so that his figurative or literal captor can get some peace and quiet.

OOC Info--
Name & Contact Information: Spiv again. You’ll never catch me, Nat!
Previous Roleplay Experience: A ton. We’d be here all year.