It was nearly a typical November morning. Cold. Druggily fogged, or was he just foggily drugged? Both were usual.

It was nearly typical, but it wasn't, because Cal was, well--awake. And it wasn't even noon. Faint, gray-white light streamed through the foggy windowpane, but he didn't dare turn his head to catch it. He might catch a glimpse of Pinkie Pie and go into convulsions. Instead he sighed and rolled over, dragging the blankets up over his head. He drifted in and out of consciousness for the span of what felt like only a few heartbeats, and fuzzy sounds, creaking, the timbre of Jasper's voice--they'd have to redo a few Muffliatos... wafted up through the floorboards.

It must have been longer, though. When he came back to himself it was to the much closer creak of a floorboard and Jasper's touch on his arm. For a minute he was confused, a little disoriented--particularly when Jasper slid under the sheets, still, as far as he could tell, mostly dressed--and made no attempts at Lewd Conduct. Well--all right then.

Cal settled into Jasper's arms and buried his face between the open collar of his shirt and the pulse beating in his neck. He was too groggy to tell exactly what murmurings passed between them, probably something inconsequential to do with the quickly-discarded possibility of lunch. Jasper sometimes did this--came upstairs at lunchtime--but generally there was some sort of sex act involved. Cal wasn't sure he disliked this, such as it was, this--suspended moment in time--but it puzzled him.

Puzzlement faded eventually too, along with--well--everything, apart from the scent of Jasper's skin and the rhythm of their breath and the slight overwarmth he always felt when he slept with someone else. Vaguely, after slipping in and out of consciousness long enough to have an almost entirely incoherent conversation about the heavy metals--Jasper may have actually been talking about hair products instead--he noticed Jasper had gotten up to go back to work. Oh well--

He flung an arm over the suddenly empty space and buried his head between two pillows, and then it really was the typical early afternoon, because he'd gone back to a regular day's sleep.

Jasper stared up at the canopy of his bed, entirely unwilling to move. It was the most depressing sort of day; cold, rainy, so foggy that he couldn't see the shops across the alley from his place behind the counter all morning. It had been chilly downstairs as well; he was going to have to tweak the heating spells a bit now that winter was here. And he was tired (full of complaints today, aren't we Jas?) Cal had come over at some ungodly hour, as he often did, and the potential for sleep had been understandably limited.

Which explained why he had shuffled up the stairs at lunch, toed off his well-polished shoes, and curled sleepily back into bed. He'd been thinking about this possibility all morning, since it had occurred to him that said bed would still be occupied by Cal, and thus much warmer and more comfortable than the chilly glass surfaces of his shop. Usually their lunchtime interludes were more invigorating, but today he had simply rested his chin on top of Cal's head and closed his eyes, basking in the muted warmth of sleep while Cal muttered incoherent thoughts about some sort of chemicals that Jasper couldn't pronounce. It had been...oddly lovely. Jasper normally didn't consider himself the sentimental type, but he could appreciate a good cuddle now and then. Okay, that had sounded so distinctly worse than he'd intended. No wonder Atlas was suspicious, F-king cuddling, really. He wondered when it had become that sort of thing. When it had become any sort of thing. But he didn't wonder too hard, because Cal's presence was at once too appealing and too lulling. He simply let himself drift, half awake, through their muddled conversation.

No matter the implications; they hadn't prevented him from whiling away the entirety of his lunch break in bed. Now an hour had passed and it was time to shiver his way back into the shop. He pulled back slightly, already feeling chilly when he lost contact with Cal's skin, and opened his mouth to speak. But Cal was still asleep, eyelashes fanning across the translucent skin under his eyes, and Jasper left him to it. He had meant to tell him that the Boy's Club would be over later, but chances were Cal would sleep through the entire evening anyhow, as he usually did. Bloody nocturnal, really.

Shifting the covers regretfully, Jasper straightened the wrinkles from his clothes with a flick of his wand and shuffled softly across the carpet. Looked back at Cal as he closed the door, feeling disconcertingly peaceful at the sight of him barely visible under the covers. Shook his head as he walked back into the shop. Cuddling. Absurd. What next, Christie? You two going to adopt a puppy together? Thank God the Boy's Club would be over later, he obviously needed to do something masculine involving hard liquor after this. Okay, not too masculine; Will had told him he had new shoes that he wanted Jasper's opinion on, but anyhow...

It was so hot. Cal turned over, frowning and half-awake, and flailed at the blankets. "Jasper--" No, he was gone.

Cal sat up dazedly, pushing some sweaty hair out of his face, and craned his neck over to examine his shoulder, where a purplish bite-mark had flowered in the hours since last night. Oh well... he was used to it. Rolling his shoulders and his neck, he looked around for any possible Jasper. There wasn't even a sound. Jasper had obviously reworked the soundproofing spells and the Warming Charms, no wonder it was so hot.

He took a breath. Stifling, really, and so quiet. Damn Jasper, he'd have to hunt him down and get him to change it, hopefully he hadn't gone out already--

Cal checked the clock. Oh, good--only half five. Probably a good idea to shower before he went downstairs, Jasper was fussy about that, and he always felt oddly self-conscious about such things--well, not so oddly, considering...

His body moving like a protracted yawn, Cal wandered into the shower, and, predictably, hit his shin on the faucet. Afterwards, still overwarm and not unaware of Jasper's associations with the towel as an outfit, he wrapped one around his waist and shambled downstairs, still yawning, one hand braced on the wall.

"Hey, Jasper--" Rounding the corner to the study. "Jasper, if you've gotten rid of the pop-tarts again, why don't we--"

And he stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs, fumbling to keep his towel up. Atlas? A sparkly little man he recognized with a shock as Apollo? Some other bloke? Oh f-ck.

Cal thought it quite possible his entire body had just turned red. It was, for a moment, impossible to move.

Atlas leaned into the high backed chair, half listening to Will, Jasper and Apollo conversing and half wondering if this was how evil overlords sat. Evil overlords probably had better posture he decided after a moment of slummed contemplation. He traced slow circles in the leather, the chair would also have to velvet…and Atlas would have to grow a beard. He’d look rubbish with a beard. His internal musings were broken when Jasper offered him another drink and he smiled and shook his head.

Firewhiskey wasn’t something he indulged in often and only in the company of the Boys Club, he liked to maintain his wits, plus he tended to do really asinine things when he was drunk. Jasper had never let him live down what he did to that poor snowman after Bott Gate in 5th year…Now and again he would glance in Will’s direction still not completely trusting of someone who actually worked for the Ministry by choice but he certainly wasn’t the all consuming evil Atlas had pegged him for. That and Will’s decision not to press charges had endeared him to the shopkeeper greatly.

Atlas was priming himself to attempt to jump into the conversation when noise from the stairs drew his attention. For a brief moment he thought maybe it was Wendell but he banished that irrational thought before he could dwell on it any further. Nobody else seemed to have heard anything, wondering if maybe he was starting to hear things again (and that wouldn’t surprise him) he picked himself out of his chair and moved toward the steps.

He didn’t make it far before more words came, followed closely by a very nearly almost naked…Calixtus Ferox? Hey, Jasper…Jasper, if you've gotten rid of the pop-tarts again, why don't we—. Atlas blinked and wondered if that popping noise he had just heard might have been something in his brain tearing out and running for cover. It looked like Cal’s entire body was considering doing the exact same thing. “What’s a pop tart?”

He closed his eyes, could feel his face twisting into any number of expressions and then opened them again. Still there. Still almost nearly naked. Not a hallucination then. Hand going to his jaw Atlas scrutinized Cal further, hair wet, soap smell, showering…showering and Cal….Then every expression dropped from his face and for the first time in a very long time Atlas gaped. Synapses rapid fired through his brain and everything he had been trying to piece together about the man feel into place like some mad parody of Tetris. “The suits, the ties….the bathing, the punch to the jaw…..” He tapped his hand against his jaw. “Ahah!” He shouted turning on his heel to look at Jasper, then back at Cal. Something in the back his mind was hurt, in his brain he could piece together what might have happened where this might have started…but why hadn’t Jasper ever said anything? Then he laughed, a full bodied sound while he watched Cal standing there dripping, panicked, and for the moment speechless. He leaned against the stairwell, trying to get air back into his lungs, and stifle the laughter which he was sure was most inappropriate considering the situation.

How does one best break into an Auror's house and steal their shoes without being caught? This thought had been running though Apollo's head ever since Will had shown him his leather clad feet. Apollo wanted them instantly - they would look positively absurd in the ministry but paired with the right skinnies he would look to die for instantly. Now the true question was how to break into Will's house. He knew a bit about breaking and entering but somehow he had a feeling this would all be infinitely more challenging without Wendell. Why did he have to die? Why couldn't he have stayed around long enough for him to pass on his breaking into Will's house knowledge? Apollo adjusted his vest as he downed another fire whiskey - flirtinis had been banned from Jasper's house since his birthday party, thought for the life of him Apollo could not imagine why. They were his signature drink!

With these thoughts on hand Apollo almost missed the entrance of a towel clad Cal. Almost. As alluring as the shoes and the mystery of the flitrini ban were they were not enough to keep him a trance for long thankfully else he would have missed one of the best things to come out of Jasper's house since Pinkie Pie got loose that one day and was drawn like a moth to fire to his shop. Amazing pony that Pinkie Pie. Proved that glitter is drawn to sparkle. She needed some brothers and sisters.

"Hey, Jasper…Jasper, if you've gotten rid of the pop-tarts again, why don't we—"

Why don't we what? Apollo rather wanted to know the answer to that one - thought his mind could do a good bit of imagining. Jasper did have a rather large collection of ties and handkerchiefs.

“What’s a pop tart?” There was Atlas pulling Apollo's mind from the gutter.

Almost.

"A tart that pops out of nowhere. They are apart of the ninja family. Surprised you have never run across one. Tarts do wander the streets at night..." Speaking of tarts, Apollo trailed off his brain starting to process little things. Like why Cal was standing in front of them almost stark naked looking redder than his favorite boots.

He knew there was a reason why that man had suddenly looked like a walking manikin for Jasper's clothes! They were an item! Towels, wet hair, Jasper's signature scent that no one was allowed to touch, what was next? Atlas seemed to be voicing those exact same thoughts aloud... Atlas naturally cominig to a different conclusion than Apollo. While he might have been thinking about the implications such knowledge would have on his friendship with Jasper Apollo was trying to figure out how to throw those two a coming out party. Followed by a lavish commitment ceremony! Pinkie Pie could act as their adopted child and Daphne could cater the entire event. Pie, cherry yum yum, and confetti all around!

With such joyous thoughts Apollo couldn't help but join in the laughter. Wendell must have been rolling in his grave to see the boy's club loose another ounce of masculinity. "So chaps how long has this been going on? Might I say Cal you look lovely in that shade of red? Brings out your hair. I tried to bring back that color last weekend but Arty shot the idea down."

For the twentieth time, Will stuck his foot out and moved it around, admiring his new shoes. They were much nicer and much more expensive than he usually went for, but he had been out with James the other day and...well, the moment he saw them, he'd been possessed of an unnatural desire to have them. This had something to do with the fact that he liked them, but mostly it was out of a need to impress James. After he'd gotten home, of course, he'd panicked at the possibility of wasting so much money on something that may be horrible for him, so he'd been very pleased when he'd learned of the Boy's Club's next gathering.

Jasper had given his enthusiastic (for Jasper) approval, and for that Will had been very relieved; though Apollo's reaction would have been more than enough to satisfy the Auror's sense of fashion. Even now, he was eying the leather shoes with Gollum-esque interest, which was part of the reason Will kept sticking his foot out. Apollo had a very one-track mind and it was very amusing to taunt him. Will smiled as he watched his friend and took a swig from his glass, making a mental note to update his security charms when he got back. Or perhaps in the morning, since he was toeing the threshold of one drink too many.

At that moment, something barreled down the stairs--"Hey, Jasper…Jasper, if you've gotten rid of the pop-tarts again, why don't we—" and Will looked over in some confusion. The voice didn't sound womanly, and anyway Jasper didn't usually have women over on nights when the Boy's Club met. This was quickly explained away as Will saw that the thing in the towel was not in fact a woman, though the explanation produced some rather more urgent questions. Will stood up and stared at the man in horror as realization struck him harder than anything he'd experienced before (which, being an Auror, is quite a lot).

Jasper...was gay.

Or bi. Or something. It didn't matter, because he was sleeping with a man. Good friends didn't walk around each other's houses in towels. Lovers did that. Lovers talked about restocking groceries. Lovers turned red in embarrassment when their partner's friends were over unexpectedly. This man was Jasper's lover. As this sunk in, one terrible thought made it into Will's head:

What does he have that I don't?

Will turned to Jasper, an utterly heartbroken expression on his face. He opened his mouth as if to ask this question aloud but he couldn't find his voice. Blinking furiously, not wanting to cry in front of the Boy's Club, he breathed deep and shuddering to keep his composure. He slowly crossed the room and set his glass down on the table (on a coaster, no less; he knew Jasper was particular about such things). He had to get out of there. No amount of politeness and tact would make it tolerable.

"Well," he said, trying to smile. It fooled no one. "I think I'm about spent for tonight, lads. Got to be off. Be seein' you."

And with that, Will left.

Hey, Jasper-- Jasper, if you've gotten rid of the pop-tarts again, why don't we--

Cal, in a feat that Jasper had never before seen accomplished by a Ferox, had managed to wake up before sunset. Jasper attempted to swallow his firewhiskey and felt it choke down his windpipe instead. He wondered if it was too late to Obliviate everyone's memory and shove Cal back up the stairs. As he spluttered, his last coherent thought was something along the lines of, No, no. Actually NO.

As he sat, paralyzed in the deep leather of his study chair, he felt very much like he was watching one of those terrible Muggle comedy movies in which the most unlikely, farcical events coincided, except this one was about his life. Cal was frozen on the stairs, in a bloody towel, turning Louboutin-sole red and asking about pop-tarts as his friends gaped. Actually Will gaped, Atlas was having going through some kind of Holmesian display of deductive reasoning, carping about ties and pop-tarts and suddenly cackling in a way that was insane, even for him.

Apollo, on the other hand, seemed to think it was an everyday event to discover your best friend was sleeping with some random bloke, and had instantly returned to his endless discussion of fashion, which apparently applied to all situations, even impromptu comings-out. There was an uncomfortably cutesy gleam in his eye, but at least he was doing better than the third member of the party.

Will looked, if possible, worse than Jasper imagined he himself looked at the moment. The utter, artless betrayal on his face shocked Jasper. He hadn't thought Will felt that way, that strongly, but he appeared to be blinking back tears as he stood, eyes carefully averted from Cal. Ever conscientious, he put his drink down on a coaster, even though he looked like he wanted to turn and bolt. Oh, Will, that's exactly why it could never be you--

Well, I think I'm about spent for tonight, lads. Got to be off. Be seein' you.

He was halfway down the stairs before Jasper managed to bolt upwards from his chair, coming back to himself suddenly. Will had gone down the back stairs that secretly led from Jasper's kitchen to the alley behind his shop; the entrance only the Boy's Club knew. Jasper raced down after him, wanting to say something, anything, he didn't even know what, but he didn't want to see Will looking so bloody devastated. Plus he needed a moment away from the room and its tension. He was going to have to explain this to his best friends.

"Will, I'm--"

He reached the alley just in time to hear the telltale 'pop' of Apparition and see Will's blond head disappear in the darkness.

"--sorry."

Sinking back against the door, he shoved his hand through his hair, trying to bloody think. He'd have to find Will later; he couldn't leave Cal upstairs alone with Atlas Holmes and Matchmaker Apollo. And he might have to-- tell them the truth. Maybe. "Oh by the way everyone, Cal is basically my boyfriend now. So Atlas, how is Rudolph doing?" Oh God.

He reentered the shop just in time to hear Batman's voice emanating from upstairs. Oh splendid, Wendell had made it. Just when he'd thought he was out of things to explain.

It had been ages since Wendell had been to a proper Boy's Club meeting. He had been unfortunately detained during the last one, and after his subsequent disappearence and "death" it had been ages since he'd been able to properly hang out with his mates and have a drink. And it was probably what he had been missing the most since becoming Dillan. Afterall he couldn't very well stop by the Sinistra shop and see if Apollo was up for a trip to the Hogs Head. And though Dillan worked with Will, he had been purpously keeping his distance to avoid detection. So when Jasper had mentioned he was hosting one of their infamous boys' night in, he had insisted on attending.

This evening he had been running late. Horror or all horrors, work had actually gotten in his way. Since when had he become such stiff? But nevertheless he had arrested some nobody for drug trafficking and the paperwork involved had kept him chained to his desk later than usual. Frankly, he had been on the verge of AKing himself where he sat when he suddenly realized he was finished with the form.

So in a much better mood he bounded up Jasper's front steps. And made a beeline for the den.

"Sorry I'm la-"

He careened to a halt. There was a naked man standing right in front of him. Scratch that. A naked Cal Ferox standing in front of him. (Well with a towl). Creepy Cal. Creepy Cal that had been poorly hitting on Sofia at that party. Was naked. At a boy's club function. Had the group lost all their testosterone when he left?! Wendell's face betrayed his shock and disgust.

"Ferox?"

He glanced around the room the only other people there were Apollo and Atlas. Apollo was looking ...well like Apollo Sinistra usually does, sparkly and cheerful. And Atlas was looking equally Atlas-like that is as though he had just discovered a connection between JFK's assassination and the banana peel he had found in a trash bin last night.

Cal had never before, or never quite so strongly, felt the need to melt into the floor, fly apart into atom-sized bits, or simply Apparate away. Why hadn't Jasper told him he'd be having friends over? Why had he renewed the Muffliato just at the time when a bit of noise might have warned him not to come downstairs in a bloody towel with bite marks all over his neck? He stopped short at the bottom of the stairway, staring open-mouthed at Jasper in silent plea, too distraught to turn around and leave.

Atlas, predictably enough, had jumped to his feet and begun crowing over his discovery. Apollo complimented his blush, for which he got a return sneer, mixed with a kind of sick, gagging, birdlike head motion. He felt ill. Soon he'd turn around and sprint back upstairs, possibly never to leave Jasper's bedroom again. The idea of that wasn't unwelcome.

--and then there was the other bloke--who was he? He looked almost as uncomfortable as Cal, blanched, lacrimose. It had to be Will. He recalled, distantly, that Jasper had mentioned Will, who had a 'thing' for him. But that look wasn't just a 'thing' look. It was a 'you betrayed me by sleeping with someone else' look. Had they...? Will (who dressed like Jasper and looked too well-polished altogether) got up and hurried out, and Jasper, instead of meeting Cal's horrified gaze, took off after him.

Oh God damn it, what... Cal's paranoia careened out of control, and colored the world lurid shades of sickly purple, fuchsia, and lime. He took a few steps backward, mouth opening and closing silently, and grabbed for his towel. Atlas, Apollo, Atlas, Apollo.... Apollo seemed bloody cheerful about it. Atlas, solipsistically smug. Apollo seemed to be in the midst of claiming pop tarts were samurai whores.

"Pop tarts are a breakfast pastry. What are you staring at?" He bit sourly at the inside of his cheek. "I can explain--" He flipped through a mental index of excuses and realized he couldn't think of anything plausible--nor, in point of fact, did it matter. Did it? Jasper would want him to say something, something clever or covering, but there was precisely nothing and no abstraction that wouldn't be ridiculously risible in the situation. Besides, Jasper had gone off, and--

"Sorry I'm la-" Wentworth! Or Christian Bale! Cal felt his face heat to a mercury-shattering degree. "Ferox?"

It was really too much. It was all but a brutish British farce.

"Y-you!" His body flutteringly convulsed around a central point, ready to be sick, flee, or actually take off, birdlike, for some safely hidden perch, Cal managed to get one shaking hand up and pointed toward Wentworth/Bale. "You--Wentworth--or whatever your name is--you must be Polyjuiced to look like--no one looks that much like--"

What if it was Bale? Jasper knew him, he might have invited him by--granted, it was highly unlikely, but it was Jasper after all, Jasper, who'd admitted to having seduced Franz Ferdinand members and international supermodels. The staggeringly absurd, ludicrous unlikeliness of it all was too much. Cal spun on his heel and dashed upstairs, doubled over. Halfway up the stairs he fell sideways with a thump, then recovered (ignominiously) and scurried up the remaining steps to Jasper's bedroom, slammed the door firmly, and went to hide behind the curtains. Only several minutes later did he realize he was behaving ridiculously.

He would kill, strangle, and resuscitate only in order to demand explanation from, Jasper. As soon as possible. First he'd have to get dressed.

Atlas watched Will beat a hasty retreat with mild interest. There was a certain amount of sympathy to be felt for the other mans situation but if Will just stopped and thought about it for a second there was no doubt in the shop owners mind that the auror would come around. It was Cal after all, Cal in incriminating garb, with Jasper. The very idea of it....Atlas laughed again but it was a more controlled action this time.

Jasper followed after Will quickly. Whether it was to assuage the obvious pain the other man was feeling or to get away from the current situation was left up to debate but it left Cal delightfully well, exposed. Blue eyes flicked in Apollo's direction.

A tart that pops out of nowhere. They are apart of the ninja family. Surprised you have never run across one. Tarts do wander the streets at night... This earned the stylist a quirked eyebrow. "Why on earth would Jasper stock those? I've encountered exploding bagels...but they're more of a pirate affiliation." He was speaking to Apollo but he kept his eyes on Cal, it wouldn't do to have the other man bolt before more information about this apparent affair was brought to light.

Pop tarts are a breakfast pastry. What are you staring at?. He flailed with his towel. "I can explain--.

"Don't be obtuse Cal you are fully aware of what I'm starring at." Atlas looked him up and down for emphasis. "An explanation? I'm sure Apollo and I would love one. Though I have to say what I've come up with is probably a much better story. I'm thinking something along the lines of Summer Storm, excellent German film." Atlas was sure he would have persisted in his assault on Cal had there not been a distinctive sound of feet on the stairwell.

"Sorry I'm la-. A beat, and Batman squinted at the towel clad man. Ferox?.

"Your sleeping with Batman too?" Atlas asked in an accusatory tone, looking between the two men. "Now your just being greedy." He received no reply Cal seemed to have reached his limit and with nothing in his way he did what most small animals did when cornered, he fled. There was a brief moment of uncomfortable silence before Atlas looked sidelong at Batman.

"Shouldn't you be fighting crime somewhere?" He then lifted his index finger and indicated his face, "You dropped your mask, not a good career choice."

Amid thoughts of the color scheme for Jasper's and Cal's commitment vows - something red and black maybe? Or would that be to vampish for his more classically styled friend? Jasper would see the light once he got into a black tux with a red satin vest with some pattern of Apollo's own design. Anyway amidst these thoughts Apollo was able to process the entrance of a tall unknown man that looked rather like the bat bloke he had researched during his super hero phase the other month. Or maybe it was super boy... either way the man looked stunningly familiar considering Apollo was quite sure he had never met him.

"You--Wentworth--or whatever your name is--you must be Polyjuiced to look like--no one looks that much like--!"

Tall mysterious man had a name! A catchy one too! Wentworth - there was potential for quite a few cracks once they became friend. There was no if in Apollo's world, everyone was a friend to some degree. "Your sleeping with Batman too? Now your just being greedy."

Bat Bloke, Batman... really they sounded rather similar and that explained the feeling of recognition... and why Cal was running, his cherry red behind mooning them all as his towel gave a departing wave. Maybe he though Batman was going to take him down? Either way Apollo made a mental note to complement Jasper on his choice in life companion - had Cal's behind been superimposed on a female Apollo might have considered giving the female a second date, quite possibly a third. speaking of dates, this Wenthworth Bat fellow had potential for his sister.

"Shouldn't you be fighting crime somewhere? You dropped your mask, not a good career choice."

Oh brother. First Atlas didn't know what a pop tart was and now this. Batman/Wentworth was going to leave before they even had a chance to become acquaintances if things kept up at this rate! First mooners, now his lack of facial covering was being questioned. The man needed a drink if nothing else and since Jasper was off somewhere with Will it was his duty as second in command to take up the task of getting everyone as wasted as possible.

Apollo leaped out of his chair and summoned over a bottle of fire whiskey which he promptly handed over to the stranger. "You might need this - unless they don't allow you crime fighting super heros drinks? If so, I say quit."

He paused and gave the new comer a look over. Not bad style, markedly better than Wendell or Atlas could ever hope to achieve. Only why was he here? Jasper hadn't said anything about new members to the club. "Apollo Sinistra by the way. The one criticizing your lack of mask, which I think was a good choice, makes your eyes pop, is Atlas Caedmon. Are you lost or party crashing?"

Realizing that Will was a lost cause for the moment and Batman was invading the Boy's Club, which was certain to make someone suspicious, Jasper turned on his heel and hurried back up the stairs, jumping two and three at a time with some rather un-Jasperly haste. He could hear a flurry of conversation from the study.

Ferox?

That would be Wendell. Oh God, they'd met at that dreadful pureblood party-- and then Cal had met Bale. This was going to be an entirely separate trainwreck if Cal started questioning him again. He crossed his fingers that Cal would be too flustered to put anything together too adeptly. The last thing he needed was some other dark secret to explain. Jasper didn't really have that many dark secrets; in fact the only two he possessed were well on his way toward the light. Four stairs from the top now, why had he bought such a bloody tall house?

You're sleeping with Batman too?

Atlas, now, quickly followed by Cal, whose voice seemed to be taking on an entirely new and fascinating timbre of rage, even though he refused to address Atlas directly. Jasper suspected he refused to do so because if he had to look at him he would punch him in the throat.

Y-you! You--Wentworth--or whatever your name is--you must be Polyjuiced to look like--no one looks that much like--

He'd called it, at least. Cal was, of course, suspicious. He took the last few stairs at an outright run, trying to get into the room before anyone else caught onto the whole "resembles Batman a bit too closely" deal. There was a downbeat and he heard Apollo chirping brightly.

You might need this - unless they don't allow you crime fighting super heros drinks? If so, I say quit. Apollo Sinistra by the way. The one criticizing your lack of mask, which I think was a good choice, makes your eyes pop, is Atlas Caedmon. Are you lost or party crashing?

Thank Merlin for Apollo. Nothing seemed to phase him at any rate. Jasper supposed with fashion sense that jarring, it would take a lot to upset a person. He entered the room just in time to see his friend offering Wendell a drink and the last glimpse of Cal flying up the stairs as though he'd been electro- no, actually he'd have enjoyed that, and he looked miserable considering how quickly he was moving. Also quite flustered considering his lack of attention to keeping his towel properly arranged. Jasper stood in the doorway a moment, trying to catch his breath, then looked at the assembled company. Atlas still had on his Sherlock Holmes face, Apollo had reverted to his normal glimmering ambivalence, and Wendell looked more confused than Jasper had ever seen him, including the time he'd secretly bartered the man to a tribe of headhunters who spoke a dialect never before heard outside the forests of Borneo. (In fairness, it was a clever ploy. Jasper had never intended to let Wendell's head be forcibly removed and shrunken.)

"So. Well." He blinked. There was honestly no good place to start with this. He decided that Wendell might be the easier of the two explanations that he had to make. "This is Dillan Wentworth, he works at the Ministry. A friend, I thought you all might get on with him as well. Dillan, you've met Apollo and Atlas. You've just missed Will I'm afraid, he's-- had to leave." He's developed an unexpected loathing for me. Jasper pushed a hand through his hair and poured himself a large drink before sitting down. "Sit, sit." He waved everyone down. Bite the bullet. "So, Cal's left then?"

Jasper had once heard you could drown in two inches of water. He considered his glass and wondered if two inches of firewhiskey would have the same effect. This was possibly the last way he wanted his friends to find out about him and Cal. He didn't even know what they were, he certainly wasn't ready to explain it to someone else. And he'd left Cal to go after Will, so that would be another explanation-- Jasper drained his glass and summoned the bottle. This was going to be the least enjoyable Boy's Club he'd ever hosted.

"Y-you! You--Wentworth--or whatever your name is--you must be Polyjuiced to look like--no one looks that much like--"

With that he sprinted out of the room leaving Wendell thoroughly disturbed. Clearly Cal Ferox did not subscribe to the theory that everyone on the planet had a twin somewhere out there. Honestly, Wendell hadn't intended to meet Ferox again. Now that he had, his refusal to believe Wendell's story was slightly disconcerting. He'd have to speak with Jasper about this later. After he found out what the hell was going on.

"You're sleeping with Batman too? Now your just being greedy."

"Clearly that is impossible since I only sleep with supermodels and Catwoman." He said irritatedly. It was one thing for Atlas to accuse him of being a masked vigilante...it was something completely different to accuse him of being a gay masked vigilante! He worked diligently for countless years to preserve what little testosterone there was to be had in the Boys Club.

"Shouldn't you be fighting crime somewhere? You dropped your mask, not a good career choice."

"Hullo Atlas." He said resignedly. In the middle of Jasper's birthday party he had disappeared and then suddenly returned holding a muggle action figure and looking oddly worshipful. He too fell prey to the belief that Wendell (or Dillan rather) was Batman. But unlike the others, he also believed Batman was a real individual not just a comic book character. After nearly three-quarters of an hour at Jasper's party trying (and failing) to convince Atlas otherwise, Wen had given up.

"It's Green Lantern's night to patrol. I can't just go around wearing the Batman costume and driving the Batmobile to stop off for a drink now can I? That could wreak havoc on my secret identity."

You might need this - unless they don't allow you crime fighting super heros drinks? If so, I say quit. Apollo Sinistra by the way. The one criticizing your lack of mask, which I think was a good choice, makes your eyes pop, is Atlas Caedmon. Are you lost or party crashing?

Oh Apollo! This is why I like you so much. You take everything in stride and always have a drink and a pretty girl to pass off to your less fortunate friends! (Okay...so no girl this time. But then...this is a Boy's Club) WenBale gratefully took the drink.

"No worries there. So uh...anyone mind telling me what exactly is going on?"

Then Jasper appeared looking thoroughly embarressed and unhappy.

"So. Well. This is Dillan Wentworth, he works at the Ministry. A friend, I thought you all might get on with him as well. Dillan, you've met Apollo and Atlas. You've just missed Will I'm afraid, he's-- had to leave."

Wendell cocked an eyebrow at that. Will never missed out on a Boy's Club evening, and Wendell had been looking forward to tonight for the express purpose of hanging out with him and Apollo again. But then...things were so screwed up this evening...what with the random appearence of a mostly naked Cal Ferox...Wendell didn't know what to expect. Or really, what was going on at all.

"So, Cal's left then?"

Wendell sat down in Will's recently vacated seat with his drink prepared for a nice long explanation. Somehow he was getting the impression that he would have blackmail material on someone for a loooong time.

"Care to explain his interesting appearence?" Wendell said in a deceptively innocent voice. This could only end in amusement.

Clearly that is impossible since I only sleep with supermodels and Catwoman. Batman had a bit of a tude this evening. Atlas was tempted to point out that it an honest mistake to be made. The man had young male wards who ran about in tights what did he expect the world to think? Atlas instead opted to just nod his head and return the cape crusaders hello with a hardly salute.

Apollo handed batman a drink and to Atlas horror the vigilante didn't even perform any sort of chemical analysis before taking a hardy sip. Atlas cringed, the substance could be laced with any number of toxins, potions, poisons, had a life of fighting crime taught this man nothing. Or maybe he could sense danger from very far away...no that was another bloke.

Anyone mind telling me what exactly is going on?. Atlas looked between the confused Batman, Apollo who was still beaming and a perfectly miserable looking Jasper. The jeweler had taken on a sort of blueish color and was seated as if he believed that by slouching he could just be absorbed into his chair. No one was speaking. “I 'll have a go at it Mr Batman sir.” He raised his hand enthusiastically. Atlas moved to seat himself on Jasper's right, before launching into his explanation. “From what I can deduce from the evidence Jasper has been dabbling in affairs usually explored by our Will and either had no intention of telling us, or decided that a physical picture was worth a thousand words. Calixtus Ferox, rather pinkish weasel looking creature who has since fled appeared at the bottom of the stairs requesting some sort of,” Atlas looked over at Apollo for confirmation, “Exploding covert pastry and found all of us instead. At which point there was general panic and disarray.” Satisfied with his summary Atlas leaned back in his seat, picking up his drink from the small side table. “Its all very homo erotic.”

The glass held at chin level but not touching his lips Atlas fixed his eyes on Jasper. “Accurate summary Jasper?” On the last few words his casual tone dropped, his voice taking on a much more serious quality. “Or would you like to correct me about anything?”

((occ: So I didn't notice that this one was waiting for me... apologies!)

Who let the misery fairy in? Her wicked magic had indeed been scattered about the room... so much so that even he did not see fit to inform Jasper how nicely turned out his significant other's behind was, maybe once Jasper had stopped looking at his drink like some morbid little child of the emo revolution that fact could be slipped into the conversation.

"Anyone mind telling me what exactly is going on?"

Apollo did not jump and down in the air waving his arm up like a school boy - he was in the wrong coat for such a reaction. Atlas however did not seem to mind that he lacked a blazer or hogwarts robes for he was haphazardly waving his hand in the air. Show off.

“From what I can deduce from the evidence Jasper has been dabbling in affairs usually explored by our Will and either had no intention of telling us, or decided that a physical picture was worth a thousand words. Calixtus Ferox, rather pinkish weasel looking creature who has since fled appeared at the bottom of the stairs requesting some sort of..."

Atlas gave him a helpless look. As a bit of a reminder cue Apollo made a large pop noise using only his fingers and mouth - Artemis would have been beyond disgusted. Artemis however was no were in sight and Atlas go the point.

"exploding covert pastry and found all of us instead. At which point there was general panic and disarray. Its all very homo erotic.”

Homo erotic? Apollo stifled a giggle. Well he tried to stifle it but honestly who used that term any more? Sounded like they had wandered into the romance section of a bookstore. Why yes sir, here we have the historical romance, the contemporary romance, the paranormal romance, and in this corner we have homo erotica - right next to the hetero erotica... At first only Apollo's shoulders began to shake, but mere seconds later an uncontrollable fit of laughter began, ending with Apollo on the floor choking on the remainder of his drink, causing him to miss the end to Atlas's informative synopsis.

"Homo erotica!" *giggle snort* "That's one way of saying Jasper's discovered his bisexual side and informed us all by having the cherry faced Cal give us a pep show." Apollo managed before succumbing to another bout of laughter.

Once he had gotten control of himself by thinking of sad things like the major sale at Top Shop tomorrow being canceled he pour himself another drink, some how managing to look somewhat serious. "I do get to plan the ceremony right? We could make it superhero themed so Dillan here won't have to buy a costume."

Wendell, in a moment of surprising restraint, was the only one acting sane in this bloody debacle. Jasper supposed it was because he couldn't blow his cover as Wentworth; he had a sinking suspicion that Wen was shrieking with surprise in his head and he would get a thorough questioning later. For the moment, he was simply grateful that Wendell had settled quietly into Will's seat while the rest of the Boy's Club acted like lunatics. Not that it was entirely out of character for Atlas, who waved his hand excitedly in the air and set off like he was on that bloody American show about lawyers.

“From what I can deduce from the evidence Jasper has been dabbling in affairs usually explored by our Will and either had no intention of telling us, or decided that a physical picture was worth a thousand words. [...]Its all very homo erotic.”

There was a pause during which Jasper attempted and failed to kill Atlas by shooting daggers from his pupils. He was about to speak when Apollo returned from whatever glitter-induced hallucination he'd been floating through for the last few seconds.

"Homo erotica!" Apollo made a very unflattering sound, as though he was trying to do a line and beatbox at the same time. "That's one way of saying Jasper's discovered his bisexual side and informed us all by having the cherry faced Cal give us a peep show."

Jasper wanted to point out several things now, first and foremost that he certainly hadn't intended for anyone else to see Cal in his house fully clothed, never mind in a poorly placed towel. He also wanted to add that Apollo didn't exactly have pristine judgment when it came to relationships (exhibit A: Snidgeton), so he shouldn't be cackling quite so gleefully. However, the cackling had the unfortunate effect of precluding any other conversation, and when it ended Apollo seemed compelled to fill his quota of awkward comments for the week.

"I do get to plan the ceremony right? We could make it superhero themed so Dillan here won't have to buy a costume."

Jasper stopped with his drink halfway to his lips, mouth open in complete shock. Ceremony? CEREMONY? This was going entirely too far. Perhaps the stress of having one's secret relationship outed quite suddenly was making him touchier than usual, but he felt like he was being cross examined like a captured spy. They weren't giving him any opportunity to explain this in a normal way. He finished his drink and put down the empty glass rather severely on the coffee table, then turned to Atlas.

"First of all, Caedmon, he's not Batman. Second, Cal does not look like a weasel. And third, pop tarts don't explode, although I bloody well wish they did. Otherwise, it was a remarkably accurate summary of the situation."

He snapped his gaze to Wendell. "You, stop smirking."

Apollo now. "And there isn't going to be a sodding ceremony, so you can stop thinking about glitter centerpieces right now. I can see the look in your eye."

There, now he felt much better. He took a deep breath; this was going to have to be explained sometime, which might as well be the present.

"As you've all deduced, with Atlas' help, there is indeed a--thing. With me. And Cal." Bloody hell. "And despite Apollo's perverse suggestion that I arranged this to inform you that I have a "bisexual side," which also isn't the case, I didn't intend for you to find out, and I would really appreciate if the rest of wizarding London didn't, yeah? And--" he added severely-- "we're not getting married, for Merlin's sake."

Wendell sat back and watched as Atlas and Apollo proceeded to dissect the past ten or so minutes in minute detail. Jasper grew redder and more exasperated as they continued on. In his head Wendell began to count down the seconds until Jasper finally lost his temper and exploded at his best mates. Apollo's giggle-fit over the word homo-erotica and his sudden allusions to weddings seemed to be the last straw. Wen was barely able to maintain a semi-straight face as Jas began to berate the three of them one by one. He turned to Wen looking utterly annoyed but without a whole lot of ammunition.

"You, stop smirking."

"Me?" He said blinking innocently at Jasper. "Smirk? I have no idea what you mean? I would never mercilessly tease my friends about certain scenerios they'd rather forget."

He grinned evilly. Jasper would never, ever live this down. He would make sure of that. After all those taunts about that damn jewel dealer from Turkmenistan Jasper was going to be getting a little taste of his own medicine. Revenge was sweet.

"And, --we're not getting married, for Merlin's sake."

Well, there was no time like the present to get started with project Jasper humiliation.

"That's a shame really. I love weddings...or rather the bridesmaids. Do they even have bridesmaids at gay weddings?" He asked thoughtfully. "Jasper, if you have a gay wedding can there be bridesmaids? I'm sure Apollo would love to help design their dresses."

He shot him what on the surface would have seemed to be a friendly grin. But Jasper would see it for what it really was, an evilly triumphant smirk. If there was one thing that Wendell had always been good at, it was inciting his friends. Soon Apollo would be off in raptures over various designers, and Atlas would be accusing said designers of being in league with an Ethiopian terrorist organization. Yup. Wendell was an evil genius.

First of all, Caedmon, he's not Batman. Second, Cal does not look like a weasel. And third, pop tarts don't explode, although I bloody well wish they did. Otherwise, it was a remarkably accurate summary of the situation.

When Jasper invoked Atlas’s last name one eyebrow arched. That was a semi rare occurrence and one that Jasper reserved for when he wished for a particular subject to become immediately and permanently closed. Really using the last name was a mistake; it spoke volumes about the whole situation. For the time being though Atlas just leaned back in his chair and watched as Jasper berated each other them in turn, and tried to resist the urge to get up and try to find whatever small cramped hole Cal had burrowed into upstairs. As for Batman, Atlas took a moment to look the man up and down, if Jasper wanted to be in denial fine, he could play along. Atlas also held back his urge to relate a detailed list of all the similarities between the chemist and stouts, he had judged the probability of a curse coming afterwards and decided he would rather just observe the events to follow rather than be unconscious or in some sort of state.

He also made a mental note to perform further research on these…pop tarts. His attention was drawn back to the conversation as Jasper attempted to silence them each in turn. Atlas lips upturned ever so slightly when he got to Apollo, forbidding the man to continue his train of thought. Too late now. Atlas’s blue eyes flicked between the two of them. Apollo will have Artemis up all night comparing material swatches.. His eyes settled back on Jasper when the jeweler inhaled deeply, Atlas wanted to pay rapt attention to whatever dance Jasper was about to present to them.

As you've all deduced, with Atlas' help, there is indeed a--thing. With me. And Cal.. Repetitive.. Atlas shifted his seat but stayed quiet. And despite Apollo's perverse suggestion that I arranged this to inform you that I have a "bisexual side," which also isn't the case, I didn't intend for you to find out, and I would really appreciate if the rest of wizarding London didn't, yeah? And— we're not getting married, for Merlin's sake. Not surprising at all really. Atlas wasn’t very intune with the social practices and expectations that went alone with being what Jasper was but he knew enough. As for not informing any of them, obvious but unsettling.

There was an argument budding here but Atlas would need a few moments to articulate it. Luckily Dillan bought him time by speaking up first. That's a shame really. I love weddings...or rather the bridesmaids. Do they even have bridesmaids at gay weddings? Jasper, if you have a gay wedding can there be bridesmaids? I'm sure Apollo would love to help design their dresses..
Atlas made a face his expression twisting into something between a frown and a grimace that one might employ after drinking sour milk.

“None that would interest you I would think.” He mumbled before sitting forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and addressing Jasper. “Perverse? Seems a bit harsh doesn’t it. Especially considering the mental trauma you’ve just put all of us through.” He jutted his chin to indicate the place that Cal had once occupied. “So if we’re getting down the grit of your little, omission,” Atlas twiddled his thumbs. “You didn’t intend for us to find out, implying your either ashamed of yourself for some poor decision making, or your ashamed of him. The later seems a more likely conclusion though doesn’t it? But-” He paused for a moment.

“What, exactly is it that your ashamed of?” Atlas opened his hand, spreading his fingers and began counting off, “That he is a Squib, that he isn’t as well kept as you like them, that is male? He isn’t a muggle is he?” The last comment might have been going to far, and Atlas almost took back the statement, but apologizing for one thing would negate all the others. Instead of continuing he leaned back, taking sip from his glass and making sure to keep eye contact with Jasper as he did so.

Wendell looked like he was going to burst with uncontainable glee. Jasper supposed he wasn't entirely undeserving; he had spent the better part of the last four years bringing up the fact that Wendell had nearly seduced a man in a turban at every public occasion. But Merlin, a wedding.

"Jasper, if you have a gay wedding can there be bridesmaids? I'm sure Apollo would love to help design their dresses."

"The likelihood of a gay wedding is about equal to the likelihood of me suddenly adopting a penchant for cargo pants, Wentworth. I know it fills you with endless disappointment that you won't get to help Apollo look at fabric swatches, but I imagine you'll get over it in time. Apollo, on the other hand--" He shot Wen a glare that also implied he should stop alluding to incredibly specific and easily identifiable stories about his former identity. He was going to say more, but Atlas decided it was time to contribute to the conversation again. Lovely.

“So if we’re getting down the grit of your little, omission, you didn’t intend for us to find out, implying your either ashamed of yourself for some poor decision making, or your ashamed of him. The later seems a more likely conclusion though doesn’t it? But-”

Ashamed? The assertion surprised Jasper. He wasn't ashamed; not of Cal, at least. It was just-- it was complicated. Half the problem was that he didn't know what he was doing with Cal. No one had ever been allowed in Jasper's life for more than two dates, and he'd thought that was a remarkably long time. Cal was a fixture now, and it seemed that was apparent, from the way his friends were talking about him. Marriage. They'd all thought Jasper would be the last person on Earth to get married. (Well, except Atlas.) Cal was so--well, Cal would say he was unJasperly. He shifted uncomfortably, hands turning his glass around and around in his palms.

“What, exactly is it that your ashamed of?” Shut up Atlas. Shut. Up. “That he is a Squib, that he isn’t as well kept as you like them, that is male? He isn’t a muggle is he?”

Atlas' eyes narrowed as he said the last words, a flicker of uncertainty apparent for a second. Christ, Atlas. Jasper felt something in his stomach flip when Atlas said Squib. Apollo and Wendell--had Atlas thought? Cal would be furious if he knew that Atlas had let it slip. Atlas was still watching him, a bit imperiously, proud of his deductive skill. Jasper slammed his glass on the table, leaning forward.

"He's not a Muggle!" He didn't know why he felt the need to clarify that first; it was the least important of the statements, and the least likely, but his mind was entirely out of sorts. "And he's perfectly 'well kept,' and he's not the first man, so your bloody detective skills are pretty weak, Caedmon." He leaned in even closer and lowered his voice. "As for him being-- a Squib--" God, he'd affirmed it for the others. Cal would kill him-- "I don't care about that either."

He realized he'd been speaking through his clenched teeth, and forced his jaw to relax. "I'm not ashamed of him, I just didn't want to have to bloody explain myself to everyone like I am right now. There's nothing to be said about it, I'm not bloody marrying him and I managed to hide it for months, so clearly it's got nothing to do with you. You can think about him like one of my models, or you can not think about him at all."

He turned, eyes settling on Apollo and Wendell in turn.

"But you--all of you-- cannot mention to anyone what Atlas just said, as remarkably tempting as it must be to embarrass me. Cal, understandably, doesn't want everyone to know."

Now he was defending him. As though he'd not incriminated himself enough already. Jasper wondered what Atlas would deduce from that. Maybe it would be something useful, because Jasper barely knew what it meant himself.

"And there isn't going to be a sodding ceremony, so you can stop thinking about glitter centerpieces right now. I can see the look in your eye."

Now really what was so wrong with glitter in the centerpiece? If Jasper wanted something a bit more classical he could just so. Besides he shouldn’t have hinted that he, Apollo, master of the ceremonies, could plan the wedding. The title given to him the moment Cal had entered the room. Really Jasper should know this all by now after knowing him for so many years.

“Yeah yeah no glitter got it. We’ll do something more classical yeah? Flowers and raw silk in masculine shades. It will be gorgeous.”

Jasper chose to ignore his reassuring words of a suitable. Really it was shame Jasper was now insisting there would be no wedding. Somehow there would be one. Apollo was sure of it. He just needed to have some time alone with Cal to make sure the two men were equally committed to one another then poof! Wedding bells and gold encrusted streamers! A wedding that would make the front page of the Profit and take away all the dire news about death and disappearances. It would be just what the wizarding community needed – the first ever gay wedding of the century!

"That's a shame really. I love weddings...or rather the bridesmaids. Do they even have bridesmaids at gay weddings? Jasper, if you have a gay wedding can there be bridesmaids? I'm sure Apollo would love to help design their dresses."

Apollo gave batman an appraising gaze. That man had so much potential! Why a splash of glitter on his alarmingly Jasper-like suit and possibly some more flattering colors (like electric blue to bring out his eyes) and some pop accessories. He couldn’t take the place of Wendell but come to think of it Wendell had only ever been able to rock a more rumpled look. Dillan could pull of the pureblood with a twist look with charm and grace.

Why Apollo loved boy club meeting - He always left with several projects swimming about his whiskey sodden mind.

That and he now had to ponder would there be bridesmaids at Jasper’s wedding of the century? Or would they all cry at the thought of losing such a beautiful testament of manhood? Maybe they could all dress in suits? Or towels! An ironic twist sure to make all those close to Jasper smile!

“I do know some wicked now up and coming designers. Artemis wouldn’t mind helping if she knew it were for a wedding and…”

"The likelihood of a gay wedding is about equal to the likelihood of me suddenly adopting a penchant for cargo pants, Wentworth. I know it fills you with endless disappointment that you won't get to help Apollo look at fabric swatches, but I imagine you'll get over it in time. Apollo, on the other hand--"

Apollo gave a gasp of horror at the mere thought of his dear friend ever donning cargos for anything other than a safari. Even then he could imagine Jasper coming up with some suit for the occasion. That could be a new trend in wizarding London actually. Thoughts for another day however.

“But Jas-“

Atlas has more important things to say however. Or at least he thought they were more important. Did it matter if Jasper was ashamed of his possibly muggle lover? Not really. If Cal looked as good in a suit as he did in a towel the rest of the world would be able to deal with his inability to perform magic, and so long as he performed well for Jasper it would be a perfect union.

"But you--all of you-- cannot mention to anyone what Atlas just said, as remarkably tempting as it must be to embarrass me. Cal, understandably, doesn't want everyone to know."

“I don’t see why Jasper. You really are a catch – especially for a Squib…” Apollo paused, the little used non fashion related parts of his braining creaking into action. Why wouldn’t Cal want to boast of having one of London’s better catches? Something was not right. Maybe Cal wasn’t as committed as Apollo had fist assumed? That’s why there wasn’t going to be a wedding? Had Jasper proposed and failed? That was impossible. Was Jasper the one who didn’t want to share the news? Maybe Atlas had been onto something.

Apollo downed his whiskey. “ It doesn’t make sense Jasper. Why would he want to hide you? It should be the other way around if anything. Is he abusive? Controlling?”