Jasper, in a rare and frustrating moment, had a serious dilemma. Said dilemma was currently taking the form of 400 carats of diamonds that he'd just gotten in from an associate in Lapland, of all places. Under most circumstances, he would have simply set them and sold them in his shop, but he'd just transfigured all his diamonds for the season, was rather busy, and just wanted to turn them for profit as quickly as possible. Plus there was the unfortunate glitch that the diamonds had been procured under less than savory circumstances, and were already laser coded, which made shipping them through normal channels quite a challenge. He was rather in a bind about how to get them to the buyer he'd found in Bulgaria.

Having spent a rather fruitless morning shuffling the loose diamonds through his fingers and thinking, he decided it was time for a break and a cupcake. Tucking a transfigured daffodil in his buttonhole, he closed the shop and took the short walk down the street to Honeycutt's. Ever since the sunny yellow shop had opened, Jasper had developed a remarkable addiction to Daphne's chocolate raspberry variety. Maybe it was just the perfection of the ganache icing, but he was a little suspicious that she was sprinkling crack in the batter or something. Nothing was naturally that delicious.

As he opened the door to the bakery, he remembered to pick up a few of those danishes that Cal enjoyed so much. He had decided to take on a new tactic that didn't involve throwing (out or at Cal) the poptarts he found around his house, most recently and alarmingly stuffed inside his pillowcase. Instead, he was forcing him to eat so many other baked goods that he might eventually develop an aversion to anything with icing. It was like killing with kindness, only involving more strawberry jam.

Daphne had her back partially turned as he approached the counter; she appeared to be filling pastries with the very jam he'd just been speaking about. He hadn't realized they were made that way, that they started out as hollow inside. For some reason he'd always--

Hollow inside. Jasper wondered why he hadn't thought of this before, it was so simple. He couldn't tell Daphne though; she was made of sunshine and kittens, probably didn't even know crime happened. He leaned on the counter, smiling, as she turned around.

"Morning Daphne!" It was best to speak with exclamation points around Daphne, as they were her natural mode of communication. "My usual, and three strawberry danishes. How are you today?"

Better to start off normally, he supposed, before he asked her about shoving some strudel full of diamonds.

Daphne hummed along to a Weird Sisters song playing softly on her radio (they were amazingly still rather popular after all these years), as she carefully filled her warm flakey pastries with strawberry jam. It was a delicate process. If you overfilled them the jam had a tendency to burst out through the other end, and while they still tasted delicious they were a bit messier to eat and didn't look nearly as pretty.

The bell above the shop door twinkled and a customer approached her counter. She finished working on her current pastry before glancing back over her shoulder at the person behind her. It was Jasper! She knew him rather well, mostly because he stopped in the bakery quite regularly. His jewelry shop was just up the street, and no doubt the sweet fumes that drifted out of her shop enticed him to make the journey several times a week. Furthermore, she knew him as one of Apollo's friends.

"Morning Daphne! My usual, and three strawberry danishes. How are you today?"

"Hello Jasper!"

She pulled out a bright yellow and orange striped box and carefully pulled the tray of chocolate rasberry cupcakes. They were Jasper's favorite and she made sure to always have a few of them in stock. She set two of the cupcakes in the box, and returned the rest of them to the display case.

"Quite well actually! I had a meeting last evening with the Greater London Area Honey Bee Enthusiasts Society and one of my fellow Honey Bee Enthusiasts Janice, found this lovely new recipe for Cinnamon Honey Glazed Sticky Buns! I just can't wait to try them out!"

She proceeded to pull out the requested strawberry danishes and added them to the box. She closed the lid and tied it up with a pretty golden ribbon.

"How have you been?"

"Hello Jasper!"

It always astounded Jasper, absolutely floored him, how happy Daphne was. All the time. He considered himself a fairly upbeat, carefree person, but he seemed like Virginia Woolf in comparison. Talking to her was like being assaulted by puppies. He watched her arrange his order and prepared himself for the barrage of cheer.

"Quite well actually! I had a meeting last evening with the Greater London Area Honey Bee Enthusiasts Society and one of my fellow Honey Bee Enthusiasts Janice, found this lovely new recipe for Cinnamon Honey Glazed Sticky Buns! I just can't wait to try them out!"

Jasper blinked. Waves of happiness overwhelmed him and he took a moment to recover, carefully keeping a smile in place.

"They sound ace. If you have some in Thursday morning, I'll give one a go. Maybe even two." He grinned. "You're going to make me fat, Daphne, Ca--" Cal will be angry with you. Okay, definitely don't say that. "Can't you stop making things so good, I'm not going to fit into my suits."

Luckily Daphne seemed to miss the slip; she was busy wrapping up his box. He appreciated her eye for detail, especially in gold. She slid the box across the counter and smiled.

"How have you been?"

"Very well, thanks. Admittedly even better now that I've got cupcakes. Busy with the shop, people are really getting a jump on their Christmas shopping this year. I barely have time to polish Pinkie Pie's mane these days."

He paused, collecting up his thoughts. He'd managed to concoct a quick cover story while Daphne had been sorting out his order. It wasn't exactly genius, but Daphne seemed like she would be willing to believe a lot.

"Speaking of Pinkie-- I've been trying to increase her mineral intake, diamonds specifically. I know it sounds weird, Apollo--let's just say there's some interesting engineering going on there. Anyhow, she's not so keen on the whole eating rocks bit. So I was wondering if you could work them into a recipe somehow. Baking with gemstones is a little out of the ordinary, I know, but you were the most capable person I could think of to take on the challenge."

Okay, actually this was the worst cover story in the history of cover stories.

Daphne raised an eyebrow at Jasper's unusual request. He stood their looking slightly awkward. Which was quite peculiar considering that it was Jasper Christie. He was the sort of man who simply oozed charm and self confidence. Though she supposed it might be slightly embarrassing for him to discuss his pet pink pony's dietary needs. But then if was really that self concious about discussing it maybe he shouldn't have a giant plastic pony as a pet

She thought about the request for a moment or two, trying to brush aside the oddness of it. She hadn't realized that Apollo had made the pony so sophisticated. It was one thing to enchant a toy so that it could move or even so that it would eat. But it seemed much more complicated to create a body system that depended on a certain amount of minerals to maintain optimal health. She made a mental note to congradulate Apollo on his transfiguration skills the next time she saw him.

"I suppose theoretically I could just mix the stones into the batter like chocolate chips, but they wouldn't taste very good. And gem stones are much harder than teeth, Pinkie Pie would probably chip a tooth trying to eat them. Or are her teeth made of plastic? Either way I can't imagine it would be very easy to eat."

She thought about the problem for a few moments more.

"He mentioned that he was planning on making more to sell in his shop. I hope he'll fix future models. I don't imagine most people could afford to feed their ponies diamonds."

Jasper had expected skepticism, but not of this sort. If anything, he'd anticipated Daphne pointing out the obvious absurdity of his story. Instead she looked serious for a moment, as though she was actually concerned about something and it had crowded out her normal thoughts of sleepy kittens and magical glades. There was very nearly a crease in her forehead when she finally replied.

"I suppose theoretically I could just mix the stones into the batter like chocolate chips, but they wouldn't taste very good. And gem stones are much harder than teeth, Pinkie Pie would probably chip a tooth trying to eat them. Or are her teeth made of plastic? Either way I can't imagine it would be very easy to eat."

There was another long pause. Jasper hadn't really considered the fact that Daphne might not want to do this because she actually thought Pinkie Pie wouldn't like the bloody things. As kind as she was, he'd thought she might note that it was moronic to feed a fake pony diamonds, but apparently she really loved pets.

"He mentioned that he was planning on making more to sell in his shop. I hope he'll fix future models. I don't imagine most people could afford to feed their ponies diamonds."

"He--?" It took Jasper a moment to follow her train of thought. "Oh, Apollo, right. No, Pinkie Pie was just a prototype, you know? He made her eat diamonds as a joke to me, because of my shop and all, obviously. The new ones eat raspberry bootlaces and cotton candy, it's loads more affordable."

Jasper hoped that Daphne didn't talk to Apollo about this conversation, since the bedazzled Sinistra would blow his cover in about three seconds. He'd forgotten they were such good friends. It made sense, he supposed. They were both so chipper and sparkly. He would have to debrief Apollo on the situation as soon as possible.

"Here's the thing. Pinkie Pie doesn't really--chew, per se. My Little Ponies don't have teeth. It might be best if you could fill something with diamonds; she could swallow it and never know. If you baked them into cupcakes, she might see the sparkle. She's very perceptive, giant unblinking eyes and all that."

He glanced down into the case of pastries and caught sight of a puffy looking batch of éclairs. "How about those? She loves chocolate frosting."

"He--? Oh, Apollo, right. No, Pinkie Pie was just a prototype, you know? He made her eat diamonds as a joke to me, because of my shop and all, obviously. The new ones eat raspberry bootlaces and cotton candy, it's loads more affordable."

She nodded feeling slightly relieved. She knew that Apollo could get a little too overzealous when it came to his creative projects. And a herd of diamond consuming ponies would definately be difficult to maintain.

"Here's the thing. Pinkie Pie doesn't really--chew, per se. My Little Ponies don't have teeth. It might be best if you could fill something with diamonds; she could swallow it and never know. If you baked them into cupcakes, she might see the sparkle. She's very perceptive, giant unblinking eyes and all that."

She laughed lightly. "Like a little kid! When I was younger, I wouldn't eat a bite of carrots. My mum always tried to hide them in my foods but I always found them and picked them out. It turned out that carrot cake was the only way I'd ever eat them!"

He looked down at the display case for a moment, sizing up the various sweets that lay just below the glass. Finally he pointed to the eclairs.

"How about those? She loves chocolate frosting."

Daphne nodded slowly.

"I suppose I could give it a try. But I can't really promise you how they'll taste. I imagine the diamonds might affect the flavor of the cream."

In her head she was already trying to figure out ways to offset the taste of the minerals in the center of eclairs. Perhaps if she coated them in sugar, or painted them with some sort of tasty glaze. Of course there was always the possiblity that Pinkie Pie would just swallow the eclairs whole. Of course if she did that she wouldn't get the full effect of an eclair. The cream-filled centers were the best part!

Daphne looked skeptical when he pointed out the éclairs. This was proving far more difficult than he'd anticipated. Who'd known Daphne would be so...logical? She spoke in eighty-five percent exclamation points, when did she find the time amidst all that excitement to consider the finer logistics of his request? He'd expected her to bound off gleefully at the thought of making a flaky dough, but she was looking at him as though he were a bit slow.

"I suppose I could give it a try. But I can't really promise you how they'll taste. I imagine the diamonds might affect the flavor of the cream."

Okay, excuse time part two had arrived. Over the years, Jasper had honed his on-the-spot lying skills to a remarkable sharpness, but this required all of his skill. He realized that it might have been easier to just buy the éclairs and stuff the diamonds in himself. But he quailed at the thought of sugary, sticky cream filling near his suits, and he didn't think he could coerce Cal into doing the work for him. He gave Daphne an encouraging smile.

"Apollo didn't actually get the taste buds right until the generation of ponies after Pinkie. The sensory perception is pretty basic. She mostly just responds to things being sweet, I doubt she'll notice a slight alteration in the flavor. And I'm sure they'll be delicious anyhow Daphne, you're the best baker in London. I don't know what I'd do without my cupcakes, except possibly fit into a smaller size at Galliano."

Excuse time part three: shipping edition. This was where it got utterly absurd. Fingers crossed. "So, can you ship internationally? Pinkie is going to be at a training facility in Bulgaria for the next few weeks, mostly for Hippogriffs and thestrals, but they made an exception. So, I need to send her food. Special diet, you know, can't eat hay like the rest of them."

If she'd swallowed the rest of the story, chances were this would be fine. The only hitch would be hiding Pinkie Pie for a little while. He wasn't sure he could keep her in the house without Cal pitching a fit. Or trying to steal her pancreas.

"Apollo didn't actually get the taste buds right until the generation of ponies after Pinkie. The sensory perception is pretty basic. She mostly just responds to things being sweet, I doubt she'll notice a slight alteration in the flavor.”

She nodded understandingly; the taste bud was a very complicated instrument. She didn’t really comprehend every component that went into the design of a living plastic pony. It was a rather complicated bit of transfiguration that she had never particularly mastered. She did well enough in school, but would never have been considered one of the brightest minds that went through Hogwarts (but perhaps one of the sweetest).

“I suppose I could manage it. It wouldn’t be terribly hard to mix the diamonds into the crème.” She finally agreed. A relieved sort of look passed over Jasper’s features. She supposed he was very worried about the health of his unusual pet. It couldn’t be easy to take care of it, when there wasn’t really anyone who knew how to take care of a plastic pony. What did he do with Pinkie Pie when she got sick? Did plastic ponies even get sick?

"So, can you ship internationally? Pinkie is going to be at a training facility in Bulgaria for the next few weeks, mostly for Hippogriffs and thestrals, but they made an exception. So, I need to send her food. Special diet, you know, can't eat hay like the rest of them."

Daphne became too excited to actually answer Jasper’s question, or really even wonder at how ridiculous his requests were. She was too caught up in her natural excitement to worry about such things as logic.

“Is she going to learn to be a trick pony? I love trick ponies! They were always my favorite when my parents took me to the circus as a little girl! I wanted to be a trick rider for years, but I couldn’t actually ride horse. Then of course I got my Hogwarts letter and I completely forgot about it. Do we even have wizarding circuses or are they just a muggle thing?”