Apollo Sinistra was frustrated - no beyond frustrated, livid. The charming most of the Sinistra twins had discovered something that was able to get its message of dislike across to the lovable flop, a feat no other person had ever managed. Contrary to the wide held belief that Carmen was something and not someone and therefor had to be the culprit, it was a My Little Pony (sized as one would normally buy them) that was causing the fashion god grief. This angelic being of plastic pony kind had managed to throw off its pretty pink venire and show off its true colors, partially in thanks to Apollo.

Once as pink and glittery as her life-size sibling Pinkie Pie Jr. now sported a black body and sparkling red mane. It was more to keep Pinkie Pie Jr. from blending with her siblings more than anything else. A sparkly pink pony with an evil streak was much easier to find if she stood out of her pastel crowd. And so after changing her colors in a fit of frustration Apollo vowed that no one would know of his monster of a creation. No one. How could his ponies spread love and joy if they had the potential to be evil? That and what did that say about their creator? Really it was the latter reason that kept Apollo from putting them on the market - the fashion god couldn't produce emo ponies when he wasn't currently supporting a gothic look. The mixed messages would be endless.

Thus Apollo decided it was time that Evil Pinkie Pie meet her maker. Maybe that way she would be able to don her true colors again and feel the glitter and smell the strawberry love that could be seen easily in her life size sibling. All he had to do was get Evil Pinkie Pie past Jasper (who would not have the emotional stability to see such a horrible sight) and into Pinkie Pie's pen.

A simple enough plan until Apollo came across the protective spells and enchantments placed on the place. Jasper's diamond studded pony had more security than Will's closet, a rather alarming bit of news for Apollo. Now he had to get someone - more than likely Jasper to let him see Pinkie Pie without having Jasper see Evil Mini Pinkie Pie.

Tucking the pony into his pocket and flipping up the collar of his silver star studded trench coat (space detective anyone?) Apollo proceeded to make his way into Jasper's shop (easy enough when one is a boy's club member that occasionally helps with those less than legal aspects of Jasper's career) and began to frolic to where he figured he was most likely to find Jasper - in front of his closet or possibly the nearest mirror. Only a noise from the study stopped him mid step.

Who else could possibly be in Jasper's house? The image of a cherry bottomed man fleeing their last meeting came to mind suddenly. His gay erotica lover! Who to better let him 'bond' with Pinkie Pie. With a cheery smile and the twinkle of glitter Apollo entered the study - knowing little more about Cal other than he sometimes smelled rather bad and was Jasper's latest fling.

"Ello there! Apollo Sinistra, you remember me right?You're Cal! Wonderful day for a ride isn't it?" Apollo asked the other man who hadn't acknowledged his entrance, a protective hand over his pocket of evil.

Jasper had gone off to the tailor, and Cal was left behind on the couch with his stack of notes. Nothing important--after what he'd seen in Atlas's shop, he couldn't bring anything connected to That Spell over--but he could sort the busywork and maybe do some basic things on time. That was what he really wanted to do, what he did after he'd finished the things Shallah Kosa needed, or the minor potions other customers demanded. Occasionally he'd do a writeup for a journal, though the pay wasn't excellent; he needed the references to keep his position at Cambridge. He was still working through the red tape surrounding his Apothecarist's license. He had rung up some lawyer type who was supposed to be so good only after he decided he didn't want to involve Will bloody Channing in everything.

The lawyer was an American specialist in Squibs' Rights or some such ridiculous thing. He supposed it was his best chance.

At the moment he was working on several things at once, his brainpower better-deployed along several pathways since he couldn't hone in on anything deep. There were his Apothecarist's registration papers; he had to write for two letters of reference among his peers. That would be painful and onerous, but not too difficult.

Cal sighed and shifted on the couch. It still smelled of Jasper's cologne. Of course, so did he. It was so nice not to have to pretend any longer.

He had his head bent over a half-written letter when a piercing and much-too-cheery voice shattered his concentration.

"Ello there! Apollo Sinistra, you remember me right?You're Cal! Wonderful day for a ride isn't it?"

Sinistra. The man responsible for the Pink Menace. And, according to Jasper, multitudes of wedding comments. He was horribly sparkly.

Cal fumbled for the papers he'd just nearly dropped and shuffled himself upright on the couch.

"Sinistra," he said, flatly. "What are you on about?" He raised one arm, shrouded in flapping unbuttoned sleeve, to shield his face against a sudden inpouring of sunlight and, well, Sinistra. "Jasper isn't here. He's at the tailor's. It always takes hours. Please leave."

Cal looked rather pleased to see him! Amazing what clothes did to a man. Why he was even raising his arm in greeting! "Sinistra," he said, flatly. "What are you on about?"

Now if that wasn't the voice of good cheer? Cal sounded infinitely more agreeable than Carmen did every time he entered her office, which meant the man had to be ecstatic to see him, Carmen always being only mildly excited. In fact Cal sounded a bit better than Arty had been sounding recently.

“I’m talking about riding of course! And ponies lets not forget them.”

Cal didn’t seem to get his oh so broad hint. In fact the man seemed almost obtuse. Maybe Jasper was only with him because of his backside. Apollo could admit to relationships (or one night stands you pick) based on less. "Jasper isn't here. He's at the tailor's. It always takes hours. Please leave."

Jasper was gone! He could have the meeting of the pinkies in peace then! He just needed Cal to let him into the high security pin and he would be all set. “Well I wasn’t here to see Jasper!” He exclaimed. “What if I confessed to being here to see you? You are with one of my mates you know. Have to make sure you aren’t a serial killer or worse yet – a serial fashion disaster. Though I could fix you if you were…”

Apollo trailed off as Evil Pinkie Pie Jr. made something akin to a very loud snort from her hiding spot in his coat, causing Apollo to desperately hope that Cal had terrible hearing and wouldn’t want to inspect his pockets.

“Soo… what do you do for fun?”

Ponies.

Had Sinistra been designed (by himself, no doubt, with a deft and very heavy hand inclined to linger in the sparkles) to annoy? All Cal really knew about the fellow was that he was a fashion... person, unbelievably ebullient--and Jasper said he couldn't take Daphne, he would need to have further suspicious words with him over that--and had slept with Carmen Snidgeton. And invented the living My Little Pony. Clearly he was the spawn of Satan.

Jasper had really terrible taste in friends. With Atlas, Cal at least had the catharsis of violence. Sinistra, on the other hand, did not invite violence. His brilliant coloration and flamboyant markings triggered the 'flight' instinct instead. Cal supposed it was protective. Groaning, he looked down at his papers, averting his eyes from the glint of Apollo's star-studded trench.

Jasper's friend? Really?


“What if I confessed to being here to see you?

Snort.

You are with one of my mates you know. Have to make sure you aren’t a serial killer or worse yet – a serial fashion disaster. Though I could fix you if you were…”

Something else snorted, and Cal looked up, startled. Had some higher power decided to throw in its judgment? Not that Sinistra would notice. A commonality among friends of Jasper's seemed to be willful obliviousness. It seemed to have come from a small, moving lump in his pocket, but Cal didn't care enough to explore Apollonian eccentricities.

Eye contact would just encourage him. Cal hunched over protectively and forced his gaze down. He had to keep his eyes moving along a line of runes so he wouldn't jump up and try to hurl himself out the window. What was wrong with people? Was it impossible to find anyone, anyone at all, who didn't care in the slightest about fashion? Or whatever one called the costumeish thing in which Sinistra had enveloped his storkish frame.

"Jasper's job," he said curtly, fumbling to button his flapping sleeve. He was in the remains of what had been a nice suit, before a Jasperly assault and a few hours' nap. His tie was loose.

“Soo… what do you do for fun?”

Apollo Sinistra's small talk had all the subtlety--not to say energy--of a jackhammer.

He waited to see if he'd really have to answer. When would Jasper get back? This was insufferable. Tomorrow he'd stay at Cambridge.

"I dissect things," he said at last, opting for bluntness. "Chimeras... manticores... ponies. And obviously I have sex with Jasper." He stared opaquely at Apollo, willing himself not to blush. Will. Will. Not working. Will to will? Augustine was ridiculous anyway. "I also enjoy being left alone to work on my notes." He flapped them pointedly at the star-studded Sinistra. "Jasper isn't here, you didn't come to see me, even your--" He gestured. "--your front pocket seems to find you contemptible, please leave."

There was a long pause - as if Cal didn't quite know what he did for fun. What an odd sort of man not knowing the answer to such a simple question. He oviously needed to spend more time with the boys... maybe he could arrange some sort of quest for Cal in which he found his fun and an affintiy for glitter! Arty could help design the map (directions not being his sort of thing) and he could hide all sorts of fun things around the world.

If anything else it would give him an excuse to see if glitter really was cheaper in China as Wendell had sworn one night. Arty seemed rather hesitant to let him go there. Something about terrorizing the locals or being mistaken for a large stork.

"I dissect things. Chimeras... manticores... ponies." Ponies? Apollo gave Cal a curious look as his pocket began to squirm nervously.

"And obviously I have sex with Jasper." Apollo smiled in sudden understanding. Why Cal had been joking about the pony murder! As if anyone could hate his pink bundles of delight - which is why the pastel rainbow of ponies had been born. No one could be unhappy with a pony. No one. It was all a matter of finding the right pony.

Cal would need a slightly perky one - blue to match his eyes - that occasionally snorted out glitter. They would get along swimmingly! Carmen needed a classical one, to remind her of her happy childhood and their lovely night together. Jasper already had one. Wendell was dead - but if he were alive he would get a specially made male pony that would instantly charm all the others. Will's would of course try to save all the other ponies from harm...

"I also enjoy being left alone to work on my notes. Jasper isn't here, you didn't come to see me, even your--" He gestured. "--your front pocket seems to find you contemptible, please leave."

Apollo bound over to the other man, closing the distance between them suddenly - not noticing Evil Pinkie Pie had taken this burst of movement as her moment to escape though the hole she had created in his pocket. The red and black My Little Pony took off at lightning speed for the door. "I can't leave! I have very important business with the pony of this house. It's a matter of some urgency."

Apollo patted his pocket as he said this - his eyes suddenly going wide. So much for getting Evil Pinkie Pie reformed without anyone knowing.

The pony of the house?

Sudden motion, something small scampering--and Cal jolted upright, inner sarcasm forgotten, legs tensing with a spasm of startled fear. His mouth dragged itself down at the corners and open. Apollo jerked toward him, and he found himself, after a few frenetic milliseconds, perched on the couch with one knee up protectively, the other poised on a cushion, and arms up defensively to protect himself from Jasper's unhinged sparkly friend.

Incoherent noise of fear. He flapped one arm at Sinistra. "Get away! What the hell--"

Embarrassed at his display--at the way his voice had gone up in pitch--he warily lowered his arm and sat down again, though he didn't lower his feet to the floor. Something red and black scampered through the half-open door to the kitchen. Blink. Flinch. What..? He knew Sinistra had been creating small My Little Abominations... how unlikely that he'd produce an intransigent one.

"Don't." He warded Sinistra off. "What is that thing?" Layers of distaste clung to every syllable, and his eyebrows twitched with revulsion and displeasure, displeasure meant to cloak the revulsion, which was--embarrassing. He wished passionately that Sinistra would leave, or Jasper would get home, or that he could just go... somewhere not infested with small scampering plastic creatures and do some work.

Once upon a time Apollo had taken quite a fancy to this lovable spider monkey that was all colors of the rainbow but due to his inability to remember to feed little things like fish his parents had refused to let him even think about buying it - so naturally Apollo did, sneaking it into the house as a hat. Only Artemis seemed to notice the thing was breathing...

Memories of his lovely pet monkey of three hours instantly came to mind (the ones about his emo pony slipping away easily) as Cal give out an ear splitting shriek rather like one Mr. Monkey had given. Even the man's posture was similar to his beloved loved pet. Mr. Monkey and Cal it seemed were rather a lot like each other - jumpy. Fortunately for Apollo he did get along rather well with Mr. Monkey after it had gotten over its shock, unfortunately Cal wasn't a monkey with an affinity for sparkly things. He tried to give Cal a comforting pat, just to calm the crazed man down a notch. It had always worked for Mr. Monkey.

"Don't."

Cornered lion...in Jasper clothing. Cal was giving him new material for the next in look. Sophisticated Wilderness. Urban Jungle! No animal prints - they were last month. No this would be tailored suits with a bit of urban jungle splash! Skyscrapers and city lights. Girls could even have skylines hairstyles!

"What is that thing?"

Pinkie Pie wasn't a thing so he couldn't possibly be talking about her, but just in case Apollo threw his electric blue scarf over the animated toy. "What thing?" Apollo asked, slowly inching towards the pony. He was in a room filled with savages and it was either move slowly or be attacked. For some reason doing some native dances didn't seem the best idea. "Really now Cal may I speak to Pinkie Pie? We have important matters to discuss. We can plan a ceremony in which you and Jasper exchange vows later."

"What thing?"

Cal raised one eyebrow; at least the sparkly man was moving away from him. Slowly, uneasily, he let one foot find the floor. It twitched, and settled back. The thing was black and red. He couldn't recall a black-and-red pony. That he could recall ponies at all was shameful, but Jasper had dragged him to Apollo's shop, and he'd learnt much more than he wanted to about the My Little Pony lineup.

"I can't tell if you're stupid or merely dedicated to infuriating people." Cal stood up with a jerk. It took him some time to get all of the parts of his body to line up and stop shaking. When he did, he advanced, crabwise, and stood staring down at the bulge in Apollo's scarf, near the doorway. It was wriggling wildly.

His fingers trembled, and he stuck them in his pockets, grimacing down at the creature beneath.

Apollo, in an earth-shatteringly grotesque piece of irony, seemed frustrated with Cal.

"Really now Cal may I speak to Pinkie Pie? We have important matters to discuss. We can plan a ceremony in which you and Jasper exchange vows later."

"Speak to--" Cal was overwhelmed. He couldn't get a word out until he cleared his throat of its furious lump. "I am not... marrying Jasper. Pinkie Pie, to my knowledge, can't talk. Please. Please. Leave." He'd tucked his arms in tightly around his torso and backed away. He was actually frightened of Apollo. He was like a human Pinkie Pie. It was horrifying. He and Jasper would need a long, long talk about his choice of friends someday.

"Speak to-- I am not... marrying Jasper. Pinkie Pie, to my knowledge, can't talk. Please. Please. Leave."

There were so many things wrong with that statement that Apollo had to give a little chuckle or more rather a little cackle. First off everyone knew that Jasper would be marrying Cal, not the other way around. Cal was obviously the woman in the relationship. All that was needed as the push to start them on their way to happily wed bliss. Apollo just had to propose the right wedding theme to them and suddenly they would be unable to resist the idea of marriage and his predictions would come true.

The second and most disturbing of the errors was that the ponies could not talk. Apollo was willing to admit that they didn't talk in a traditional sense, such as through using plain and simple english but they did have their own form of communication that said loads though a series of whinnies and the rejection of food. Why if one of his ponies rejected a strawberry bootlace he knew it was either full or going on a diet due to her fellow pony chums getting on her case about eating to much. Girls would be girls in any form - plastic or human.

Lastly Cal seemed to think he would leave on his own accord. Really even Jasper knew that Apollo could only leave when he deemed it time to leave. It was not time to leave yet. Not time to leave by far.

He gave the confused little man a brilliant smile. "Why I wouldn't dream of leaving! We have so much to! First if you could take me to pinkie pie? She no doubt misses her creator. Come."

Apollo grabbed his scarf and Cal's arm simultaneously and proceeded to ignore both struggling captives till they were standing at the entrance to Pinkie Pie's pin. Emo/Evil Pinkie was putting up more of a fight that the other man in his opinion anyway.

"Now let me see Pinkie Pie please." He demanded in the way that only a Sinistra could - childlike and innocent.

Apollo's response to the threat underlying Cal's voice was, surprisingly, a smile. His teeth shone brilliantly, vampirically white, and Cal felt his shoulders twinge. His neck tightened, the tendons bunching.

"Why I wouldn't dream of leaving!

Sarcasm? Sarcasm? Cal would fain have imagined Apollo one of those incapable of sarcasm, too stupid and sparkly and--stupid, really. His mouth worked unconsciously, trying to keep pace with the lighting string of insults he knew were lurking there somewhere, very wittily, if only he could bring up something more than mumbled half-articulate curses, which caught in his throat and came out as annoyed huffing breath.

"We have so much to! First if you could take me to pinkie pie? She no doubt misses her creator. Come."

And Apollo yanked at his arm. Cal's eyes went wide. He wrenched his arm away.

Oh God, he thinks--abusive--well f--k--well really--

He stood twitching and trembling and his jaw worked, popping in and out. His anger didn't seem to have hit the surface. It horrified him. It was a hot flush in his gullet. His chest was heaving and his elbows hurt--he realized he had dug them into his ribs--he wanted to hurt Apollo very much and he hated himself and he hated Apollo and he wished Jasper would come home very much; wished he wouldn't have to face himself as a person who was--was----Cal--Cal-without-Jasper--

"Now let me see Pinkie Pie please."

"... what..." It came out weakly, past the impediment of heaving chest and wide, stinging eyes and fast breath. "--the--" Breath. "I said don't touch me. God. Don't touch me." That childish look, coquettish almost. He realized, nose apart, they weren't dissimilar in looks. It frightened and worried him. He felt in limbo, and hung limply inside his own skin, hands moving up and down his arms as though he were very cold.

"--Fine. It's out back. God. Please don't touch me." Why. He didn't care to consider.

"--Fine. It's out back. God. Please don't touch me."

There was something very wrong with Cal. That much Apollo was certain of. But what? The man seemed to react in the most outrageous ways every-time he got near him. That left two options. Either Cal was extremely attracted to him and was scared of what he might do if he let Apollo touch him for to long - which coincidentally was a common enough occurrence, Apollo did seem to inspire the most outlandish forms of passion in all genders and species. Such as one time in Hogsmead he had been walking away from a new underground club there when a unicorn wouldn't leave him alone, even after he had explained he wasn't that type of boy. Granted he had inhaled enough questionable substances that the unicorn might possibly have been a panda. He still wasn't sure to this day... OR Cal had a personal space bubble. One that he Apollo had been heaven sent to pop.

While the first option seemed the most likely Apollo was willing to give the second the benefit of a doubt. After all there would be no marriage if he and the bride suddenly became an item. Which would never happen. Apollo Sinistra did not do romantic relationships with merely one person - ever.

Apollo swung his violently squirming scarf (pony safely tied inside) back and forwards torn between giving Cal a hug and seeing what happened and detoxifying Evil Pinkie Pie. An angry whiny gave him the focus to stay with his original intentions.

"I would have gone there already but someone from the household has to let me in. I didn't want to mess with Jasper's enchantments. Never know what sort of ailment they'll give me and Arty swore she would make me into an accountant if I made her go back to St. Mungo's within the next..."Apollo began to pat himself down. Where was his watch? Finding it artfully pinned to his shoulder under a bit of lace he checked the time. "The next 34 hours."

He gave a little shrug. Arty has been less than thrilled with the herd of ponies he had put at the foot of her bed this morning...or the wings each of his fingers had accidently spouted during a bit of Weasley testing gone awry.

"Please take me to her! I'll show you something Jas will likely cry over if he sees." Apollo tried, swinging his scarf towards Cal. "I promise it's not pink... and has an affinity for um... unhappy things!" He added.

Someone from the household? That bit of phrasing pleased Cal in ways he didn't care to examine closely, and he looked sideways, one hiked shoulder looming in his immediate field of view. When he was very uncomfortable he tended to fold up like a furled umbrella or a furled vulture. Apollo had swung the scarf full of creature at him. Cal batted it away.

"Something Jasper will cry over?" He cringed back, looking at the squirming lump. "Unhappy things. Not pink. How exactly did you make Pinkie Pie--can I ask--because it isn't like anything I've ever--"

He shouldn't ask, Apollo would never admit the creature was actually a twisted abomination, he'd probably done blood rituals, his cheer was almost certainly a cover for depthless evil. Cal was alone in the house with him; it was terrifying. He wished Jasper would get back. Perhaps this was a punishment Jas had devised for him. What had he done wrong? Apart from sharing a little too much of a personal nature with Atlas, and that had only been in the name of discomfitting him...

"Fine. Fine." Someone from the household. He led the way toward the entrance into Jasper's garden; Pinkie Pie lurked somewhere amongst the snow-covered foliage with her bucket of strawberry bootlaces and Milk Bottles. Cal was quite sure it didn't really need to eat (he had done some equations to that effect) but Jasper spared it no solicitation. Ugh. "There you go. I'm going back to the study." He'd go up to Jasper's bedroom instead, and hide. "Have fun. Don't hurry back. See you."

"Something Jasper will cry over?"

Apollo nodded eagerly, glad to see his words were making the man curios. Finally! something they could bond over! He could then many be Cal's best man and sleep with all the brides maids that met his specific requirements. Granted there were female bridesmaids at the wedding? That really was quite bothersome. He would have to make sure of that. Who would he 'talk' to when the lovebirds fled to their nest artfully decorated by him?

"Unhappy things. Not pink. How exactly did you make Pinkie Pie--can I ask--because it isn't like anything I've ever--"

Why did everyone want to know how the ponies had come into being. Really it was none of their business. It wasn't as though he had equipped every pony with a self destruct charm if they ever saw a fashion don't.... which come to think of it he should have done something along those lines. Would have been wicked good fun to watch!

Cal seemed to think better of asked and finally let him to his goal. There was his masterpiece, a beautiful cross between Sinistra Genius and Christie Finesse, looking beautiful in her surroundings. Just as he had intended for her to look.

"There you go. I'm going back to the study. Have fun. Don't hurry back. See you."

Apollo grabbed the man's arm, not to enraptured by his creation to forget his promise. Something that would make Jasper cry. "Wait don't you want to see her?" Without waiting for the other's answer Apollo artfully freed evil PInkie Pie with a flick of his scarf. The creature gave a whinny of protest as she hit the ground. A patch of black and red in the otherwise serene pastoral scene Jasper had so artfully created in his backyard.

"I give you Pinkie Pie Jr. she's in need of a bit of reform but nothing her eldest sister can't fix." Apollo remarked fondly as the miniature pony attempted to give the larger a good kick in the shins. Pinkie Pie seemed unfazed, her large doe eyes gazing lovingly at Apollo. Apollo returned the look easily, "Now Pinkie Pie work your magic. Your sister needs your glitter and love."

Pinkie Pie gave a neigh of agreement, Evil Pinkie Pie Jr. a whinny of protest. It was so good to see his children playing with one another. Soon Evil Pinkie could don her true colors again and join her miniature pony sisters in the shop.