It had been an inordinately long time since Wendell and Jasper had found time to hang out. There hadn't been any boy's club meetings since that disasterous episode with a nearly naked Cal Ferox. Wendell had found the whole thing a bit disheartening really, he had always depended on Jasper to back him up as the other straight man in their group of friends. He wasn't sure how he had managed to become best mates with a group of gay guys. It made him want to do something extraordinarily macho like chop wood by hand, or shoot cute woodland creatures. But today, he and Jasper were going to do something much more amusing.

As Jasper had justly pointed out, there was no point in him looking like a famous muggle actor if they didn't exploit it for their benefit. Having been surrounded by morally upright law enforcement officers for several months, Wendell couldn't say no to any scheme of questionable legality. Why he hadn't even stolen anything for a week and a half! If he didn't do something immoral soon, he feared he might explode and reveal his true identity in the middle of the auror office, just to get some excitement!

He let himself in through Jasper's back door, that it had been locked before he approached, was of little consequence.

"Jasper! You ready mate?" He shouted as he climbed the stairs to the flat above. Not that it was really a flat, the thing was more like a mansion that folded in on itself. He headed towards the study, and consequently Jasper's liquor cabinet. It wasn't worth stopping at Jasper's if he didn't steal some alcohol. The man kept his cabinet ridiculously well stocked with the finest stuff.

He heard the sounds of Jasper's footsteps approach down the hall.

"In the study! Now you're sure that no one will notice right? I haven't had any fun in ages, but the last thing I need is to get myself thrown into a muggle jail again." He called pouring himself a healthy glass of brandy. You didn't stay friends with Jasper Christie for very long without developing a taste for all sorts of alcohols. Though Wendell still thought the man's devotion to the martini was bordering on obsessive. A plain old shot of firewhiskey accomplished the same thing in half the time.

Jasper shifted the flying carpet off his lap when he heard the back door open, folding it up and sliding it back under his bed. It had needed some of its tassels replaced, the steering had been a bit off lately. Having realized that he hadn't properly seen Wendell in ages, he'd invited him over for some good old-fashioned criminal activity. That had once been a fairly regular part of their friendship, but since Wen had turned into Batman, interaction at all had barely been a regular part of their friendship. The Boy's Club had been on a bit of a hiatus since Cal-gate; Jasper suspected that Wendell was a bit put off by the whole thing, and he and Atlas weren't quite on terms for friendly drinks at the moment. He'd tried to go out with Wendell for a round of their other favorite activity, chatting up models, last week, but it was significantly more complicated when one was Christian Bale. There tended to be loads of people wanting autographs and taking pictures and occasionally some pale blokes in Batman t-shirts with action figures, and in the end they'd called it an early night. (Jasper, fortuitously, had called it an early night with one of the girls from the Spring Comme des Garcons adverts, so it hadn't been an utter failure.)

Halfway down the stairs, he heard the clink of bottles and Wendell's voice.

"In the study! Now you're sure that no one will notice right? I haven't had any fun in ages, but the last thing I need is to get myself thrown into a muggle jail again."

Jasper rounded the corner and found Wendell helping himself to a glass of brandy. It was still a bit of a surprise to see Batman in his study. He really needed to work on getting a butler to complete the picture. His eyes glanced over a suspiciously bottle-shaped lump in Wendell's coat pocket. He'd need to deal with that momentarily.

"Cheers." His hands went through the automatic motions of mixing a martini as he spoke. "No, I've got an idea that's almost legal, actually. Aside from impersonating Christian Bale, I'm sure there's some sort of law about that. You ever thought about getting a car? Or whatever, we're just going to use the image to your advantage."

He reached into his lapel pocket and pulled out a business card. Christie Management, INC. followed by a Los Angeles address. He handed it over to Wendell.

"You're my star client, Bale." He poured the martini and took a sip. "How's the Ministry treating you? Are you bored out of your skull yet? You must be if you've resorted to stealing my cognac." His eyes moved from Wendell's pocket to his wrist. "And my watch."

How's the Ministry treating you? Are you bored out of your skull yet? You must be if you've resorted to stealing my cognac." His eyes moved from Wendell's pocket to his wrist. "And my watch."

Damn. He'd noticed. Clearly the prolonged hiatus he'd taken from criminal activities had started to affect his skill. Things were worse than he'd thought. He was going to have to find some time to moonlight as a drug mule soon if he wanted any chance at returning to the criminal game. It was a tricky business this double agent nonsense.

"You've no idea." He replied depressedly removing the liquor bottle from his pocket and setting back down on the bar top. He conveniently forgot to remove the watch. "I don't know how Will has stood it for all these years. If it weren't bad enough being around so many self-righteous do-gooders, we have to listen to lectures every other day about how we need to be doing more to find Potter and Astbury. As if it weren't perfectly obvious that they're not coming back. I mean if they haven't issued any demands, clearly the bloke responsible is just doing it to get a rise out of the ministry." He said rolling his eyes and taking another swig of his brandy. Politicians were even bigger idiots than most of the aurors. They had absolutely no concept of how the criminal mind worked, which was ironic considering they were politicians.

He examined the official looking business card that Jasper had passed him. Not that he knew a whole lot about muggle business cards, but it looked pretty legit to him. But then, Jasper was never one to do anything by halves. Jasper stayed on top of his game because he kept a very low profile, and he always looked the part of the foppish businessman so well. No one ever suspected him of doing anything illegal.

“What about you and the other guys? You lot are always up to something.” He said hoping to hear something about Jasper’s newest con, Atlas’ newest conspiracy theory, or Apollo’s newest fashion breakthrough, concocted from a bedazzler and pipe cleaner. It was the sort of thing he missed out on when he couldn’t sporadically drop by their respective places of business anymore.

The cognac bottle was returned to the bar with some consternation, although Jasper noticed the watch remained on. He let it slide; he could imagine that Wendell had been rather deprived of opportunities for thievery in recent weeks. Eventually he would just steal it back when he was at Wendell's flat. In the mean time, maybe a Piaget would improve his chances with the BHL (not that they probably needed much improvement since he was Christian Bale.)

"If it weren't bad enough being around so many self-righteous do-gooders, we have to listen to lectures every other day about how we need to be doing more to find Potter and Astbury[...] I mean if they haven't issued any demands, clearly the bloke responsible is just doing it to get a rise out of the ministry."

Jasper was pleased to hear that Wendell had maintained a healthy lack of respect for the Ministry. He'd worried briefly, when Wendell took on the job as Dillan, that he would end up being moral. It would have been so tiresome. Will was close enough to Jasper's limit for altruism, a second friend who actually thought there was something a bit wrong with counterfeiting would be entirely unacceptable.

“What about you and the other guys? You lot are always up to something.”

Without the regular Boy's Club meetings, which had always been something of an unofficial forum for the latest in slightly nefarious behavior (or for coverup appeals to Will), Jasper realized that he too didn't have as much of an idea what Wendell was up to, either. He knew that Will was obscenely busy at the Ministry, and God knew he was well aware of Atlas' latest goings-on, but he didn't think either of those were the sort of sunny news to share.

"You know, same old." He waved his wand, Accioing a rather dramatically large crown from its resting place atop his bureau upstairs and offering it to Wendell. "Stealing the crown jewels, that sort of thing."

He waited for the look of shock on Wendell's face to peak.

"If Arty asks, Apollo and I 'returned them,' okay? Feel free to borrow them sometime, if you want to impress the BHL or something. How's that going anyway? More success now that you can drive the Batmobile to the office?"

"You know, same old. Stealing the crown jewels, that sort of thing."

Jasper accioed the heavily bejeweled crown from somewhere within the labyrinth that was his house. Wendell's eyes widenend with unmistakeable glee as Jasper passed it to him with the same sort of nonchalance you would handing over yesterday's tube paper. He turned it around in his hands admiring the way the light glinted off the jewel's facets and blinded him with their sparkely radiance. He wasn't an expert on jewels like Jasper was, but he was usually able to ascertain their street market value. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this crown would be unfathomably high. The price of the jewels alone would be astronomical, and combining that with the historical significance of the piece.

"I can't believe it was you, who took this! I overheard some blokes from the muggle liaison office talking about the jewels being disturbed."

"If Arty asks, Apollo and I 'returned them,' okay."

"Merlin, he spilled the beans didn't he? I bet she was livid with you!"

Wendell laughed at the image that was presented to him. He had enlisted Apollo's help on a couple of heists in his day. Though he tended to believe that Apollo was more trouble than he was worth. First, you had to make sure he didn't dress in something so outrageous that it attracted notice (a difficult feat), but then you also had to worry about him spilling the beans to his sister. He imagined her tracking down Jasper with that maniacle look she sometimes got on her face when she was protecting her brother. It was a miracle that Jasper had survived with all of his limbs intact.

"No worries there mate. I prefer not provoke her ire whenever possible. Can't be sure she won't try and curse the messanger, if you get what I'm saying."

"Feel free to borrow them sometime, if you want to impress the BHL or something. How's that going anyway? More success now that you can drive the Batmobile to the office?"

He hesitated at this question, thinking of the events of the past week. Things had been strained since, the undeniably heated arguement he'd had with Sofia. He hadn't known it was possible to be jealous of yourself, but he certainly was. Worse he wasn't sure which half of himself he was jealous of. Was it "Wendell" for intruding his memory on his current relationship, or 'Dillan' for stepping in and stealing her away to begin with? It was the sort of ridiculous love-triange that muggles loved to make movies about.

"More successful? Yeah, I guess so. Just...a lot more complicated." He shrugged it off not really wanting to discuss it on the night he was supposed to be having fun with his only remaining friend. He downed the last of his brandy quickly.

"So where are we headed? I don't want to be completely drunk before we even get to the party!" He smirked. It would take a lot more alcohol than that to get him drunk. Especially, in his new body. It had a significantly higher tolerance for liquor than his old one had.

(ooc: Blehh!!! I had this all written out before my internet crashed and lost it)

"Merlin, he spilled the beans didn't he? I bet she was livid with you!"

Wendell's look of horror was appropriate, even though it turned to laughter once he realized that Jasper had been the victim of Arty's wrath. Fair enough. Since an early age, Jasper and Wendell's friendship had found a strong foundation in the appreciation of one another's humiliation. After the incident with the Turk Jasper had been well ahead for years, but Wendell had been catching up recently. Perhaps it was a good thing they'd been seeing each other less frequently, at least until the poptart debacle had faded from memory a bit.

"Livid would be an accurate term. There was some shouting. A bit of throwing things, maybe. I forget exactly, I wasn't very awake. I made some fakes and we put them back."

He neglected to mention that there had also been some Cal wearing only a crown, and some really awkward and probably untrue revelations from Arty about why Apollo spent so much time on Jasper's couch. Wendell really didn't need any more fuel for his mockery at the moment. He deflected to the BHL, usually one of his friend's favorite topics, but Wendell looked surprisingly unhappy about them.

"More successful? Yeah, I guess so. Just...a lot more complicated."

Wendell shrugged and downed the rest of his drink a bit too rapidly. Jasper let the subject drop, confused. Last time he'd checked, getting on well with beautiful women wasn't something to be upset about. Maybe not everyone was cut out for his lifestyle. Although Jasper couldn't think of anything to complain about as a result of the BHL paying more attention to you. If they hadn't all been utterly mad he might have let himself get arrested once in a while just to enjoy their company.

"So where are we headed? I don't want to be completely drunk before we even get to the party!"

Wendell put a more Darrow-like face on. Well, sort of Darrow-like. If Wendell had gone as Batman for a fancy dress party or something. Sometimes it was just too confusing being friends with Bruce Wayne. Jasper poured himself another drink, and then one for Wendell as well.

"Drink up, this will be much more believable if you seem a bit drunk." He'd devised this plan a few days ago while not listening to Cal talk about chemistry, and thought it was one of his best. Possibly second only to the Versailles heist, which had truly been one for the ages.

"You're going car shopping, Mr. Bale. With your manager. Something is going to be terribly offensive. Maybe you'll get a bit upset about it, maybe word could get out that the dealer isn't very nice to clients...things could get ugly. Luckily your selfless manager will be there to smooth things over by arranging a gift from the dealership.

"It's quite easy, really. Even if you don't have your doppelganger's acting skills. Now, the important question-- Aston or Ferrari?"