In the beginning we were all fish, okay?... swimming around in the water. And then one day, a couple of fish had a retard baby - and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its... mutant fish hands... and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something, and made this... retard frog-squirrel... and then that had a retard baby, which was a... monkey-fish-frog... and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey... and that made you!
So there you go... you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys havin' butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations.