Title: ZERO CROSSES!
oranj - February 18, 2009 12:51 AM (GMT)
Zephiel - February 18, 2009 02:26 AM (GMT)
Aaron - February 18, 2009 04:52 AM (GMT)
The hell is this? Christian gamer reviews? What?
Exxucus - February 19, 2009 03:44 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osbourne, White Zombie, Slayer, the Blue Oyster Cult, and the S*x Pistols |
I can't help but love these reviews for how little knowledge of the product this reviewer has. Mayrilyn Manson has been in no GH game, Ozzy wasn't in GH3, White Zombie's song was about street racing, BOC's was of going on tour, and the sex pistols (Love the censoring) was just a "lol anarchy" song. The only thing I give him credit for is that Slayer's song is quite satanic, though he doesn't even know what song it is. And then he never mentions that your goal is to destroy the devil, rather than be all buddy-buddy.
That and he claims that Noah's 3d Ark was a good game.
Dark Overlord Zack - February 19, 2009 04:04 AM (GMT)
Merc - February 19, 2009 09:32 PM (GMT)
Damn, did you see how in depth he went into Tetris. I don't think anyone who played that game thought of Cummunism. XD
Cugar - February 19, 2009 11:26 PM (GMT)
I lol'd at how crouching = tea bagging = God Hates Fags
And "Maybe Bungie included "tea bagging" to further their anti-Covenant theme into the multiplayer campaigns." I agree, because it's not like the story is hugely influenced by the Bible and MC is a Jesus figure and they kill a false Prophet which
never happened ever.@Exx: I haven't heard much Blue Oyster Cult, but if (Don't Fear) The Reaper is amoral and satanic then... lol. Also, the devil is a villian in GH3 afaik and definitely is in WT.
| QUOTE |
| After one of the boys asked me if I wanted to play "shirts and skins", I quickly turned off the Playstation because I didn't want to see what that was (Pastor Skeet later told me it's homosexual slang). |
Lol, and from here I drew my atheism.
If anyone's been under a rock; shirts and skins means one team in a sport takes off their shirts to distinguish between teams.
Lol, Pastor Skeet
Merc - February 20, 2009 12:20 AM (GMT)
Wait, I just read the Halo review. Master Chef. XD
These reviews are so hilariously ridiculous I almost want to send him an email telling him to review more games. XD
EDIT:
Yeah I want him to review super smash bros and Pokemon just to see what biblical hogwash he pulls out of his ass. XD
Merc - February 20, 2009 03:03 AM (GMT)
omg
F.A.Q
Howdja get the nickity-nack "Skeet"?
Back in the day, I used to refer to my mustache as "my mosquito," because it was so "fly" (that's how we used to talk back then.) So my "homies" (that's what we used to call our dawgs,) started calling me "Mosquito," which soon became "Skeeter" and ended up being just "Skeet."
Oranj, you've made my life.
Cugar - February 20, 2009 06:22 PM (GMT)
tiem for sex me plz?
EDIT:
On Spore:
| QUOTE |
| It's apparently designed to teach children (it's rated "E") to believe in Darwinism by having them "evolve" a spore into a race of UFO pilots who take over the galaxy (this is totally unrealistic, so it's an accurate simulation of Darwinism). |
Firefly_43 - February 20, 2009 08:10 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Cugar @ Feb 20 2009, 12:22 PM) |
tiem for sex me plz?
EDIT:
On Spore:
| QUOTE | | It's apparently designed to teach children (it's rated "E") to believe in Darwinism by having them "evolve" a spore into a race of UFO pilots who take over the galaxy (this is totally unrealistic, so it's an accurate simulation of Darwinism). |
|
That was painful, but the Fable II review made me cringe:
| QUOTE |
| Even though Proposition 8 passed in California, saving millions of traditional Christian marriages in that state from being nullified by so-called "gay marriage", militant homosexuals are still trying to press their agenda to destroy traditional marriage and families so they can live in sin supported by our tax dollars. Their newest tactic is to desensitize young people to so-called "gay marriage", and the "gay lifestyle" in general, by depicting it as normal in Secular entertainment, thereby raising up a generation that will not know right from wrong. |
Because we all know homosexuality is going to destroy society's morality. =/
BTW, Cugar, on a completely unrelated topic, that x-ray in your avy looks very familiar. I think that same photo was used in a quiz on the brain I had to take recently in my Bio class. A blow like that to the frontal lobe of the brain would likely cause serious problems with their personality and emotions.
Cugar - February 21, 2009 12:06 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Firefly_43 @ Feb 20 2009, 03:10 PM) |
| QUOTE (Cugar @ Feb 20 2009, 12:22 PM) | tiem for sex me plz?
EDIT:
On Spore:
| QUOTE | | It's apparently designed to teach children (it's rated "E") to believe in Darwinism by having them "evolve" a spore into a race of UFO pilots who take over the galaxy (this is totally unrealistic, so it's an accurate simulation of Darwinism). |
|
That was painful, but the Fable II review made me cringe:
| QUOTE | | Even though Proposition 8 passed in California, saving millions of traditional Christian marriages in that state from being nullified by so-called "gay marriage", militant homosexuals are still trying to press their agenda to destroy traditional marriage and families so they can live in sin supported by our tax dollars. Their newest tactic is to desensitize young people to so-called "gay marriage", and the "gay lifestyle" in general, by depicting it as normal in Secular entertainment, thereby raising up a generation that will not know right from wrong. |
Because we all know homosexuality is going to destroy society's morality. =/
BTW, Cugar, on a completely unrelated topic, that x-ray in your avy looks very familiar. I think that same photo was used in a quiz on the brain I had to take recently in my Bio class. A blow like that to the frontal lobe of the brain would likely cause serious problems with their personality and emotions.
|
It's inspired by The Dark Knight. Pencil trick.
Otherwise, awesome.
He defines what makes games secular for, like, one game. I think it was Zombie gamez.
Merc - February 21, 2009 04:34 AM (GMT)
I told everyone I knew at school about this, because people had to piss themselves reading these.
Cugar - February 21, 2009 04:15 PM (GMT)
^ I live in a highly conservative "we are right, you are wrong, and because we are right the Bible is never wrong" type place, so as much as I love to... They'd probably piss themselves in sweet tasty RAAAAAAAGE.
Although I have been mocking him via Facebook chat with a buddy.
EDIT: To make this .01% moar on topic:
In his Fable review, he just assumes they are a bunch of fag-loving-group-sex-obsessed hippies. Doesn't occur to him that they might not want to piss off all of the LGBTA community.