Press Conference for Hawks, GM, Players, Coach

Billy Knight, GM of the Atlanta Hawks- Welcome to this press conference. We will be fielding questions from the media for all players, coaches, staff, owners, equipment managers, everybody. Ask away!! First question, you, polka dot shirt.

How do you feel about your Huge 4 which is indicated in the Los Angeles Times article that was published in today's paper?

Billy Knight: We actually believe it's the Fab 5. Think about it, we have Emeka Okafor, Gerald Wallace, Al Jefferson, Josh Smith, and Joe Johnson. All All-Star-quality players. We also appreciated that article a great deal, but we do feel you left out our 5th guy.
Joe Johnson: If I may Billy..
Billy Knight: Sure thing, Joe. Go ahead. Joe Johnson, our Point Guard.
Joe Johnson: Thanks Mr. Knight. I just wanted to say how excited I am to be playing with 4 other players the quality of Emeka, Al, Josh, Gerald, Jarret [Jack, the newest acquisition of the Hawks], and the rest of the players on this team. We are all aiming for one thing, and one thing only, and that's a championship for this great city of Atlanta. I can promise one thing, we will be competitive this year, and we will be aiming every day to win every game, one game at a time. Thank you.
Billy Knight: Thanks for the question, Mr. Crownhead. Next question. You, in the navy blazer.

Why have you copied the name of the "Fab Five" from the Utah Jazz? Do you feel that your starting lineup can actually contend with a lineup full of MVP candidates like the Jazz have?

Emeka Okafor: Utah has a very good team. But we feel we can beat the Jazz if we use our gameplan right. Plus, we feel we matchup great with Utah. So, the answer is yes, we own the Nickname. In fact, I just paid $10,000 to copyright it. So there.

Damno Yu, writer from the Washington Wazzu. Just a few quick questions. How much do you bribe the refs to win games? Do you predict that any of you players will be arrested in the upcoming season? As well, how do you face the rumor, but really a fact, that Gerald Wallace sells dead mongeese to the Russians?

Billy Knight: All these allegations are worthless. Yu, get out of the room, please.

Hey Emeka Okafor, this question is for you.

What did the Hawks have that the rest of the NBA did not have? Was it the money or was it the opportunity?

Emeka Okafor: Good to hear from you, Mr. Crownhead. I appreciate the Brownies you made for me. Tasted good. Anyways, Atlanta's been a city that I've always loved. Going to college at Connecticut, it was COLD man, real cold. This weather here (even without any rain), is awesome. The money helped the decision a lot. But the biggest thing for me was the opportunity at playing for a title contender like Atlanta. I really like the players we have assembled here.

Al has just left the room, sorry reporters.

Billy Knight: All these allegations are worthless. Yu, get out of the room, please.

These "facts" though have been reported in the Washington Wazzu as true, so what is your reaction to them? And what punishments will your players face?

Billy Knight: You know what I say? Stick it in your Wazuu. SECURITY! Please escort this man (?) out of the room. And you can tase him if you wish.

Hey dickwad, how in the hell did you get Okafor AND GWall? You blind robbed me!


Also, is Amare for trade?

Billy Knight: Nobody is for trade at the moment. And in response to your other question, which was derogatory, players want to come to Atlanta. It's where everything new and exciting is happening right now. It's a great scene for culture, nightlife, everything. Who wouldn't want to come here?

Billy Knight: Next question.