My friend Liz writes songs and poems and stuff... Made me want to write something. So I ended up writing some random one-paragraph stories... about what I've been going through. Keep in mind, these are REAL, and they have happened to ME. Some recently, some from months ago. I don't care whether you believe it or not. These are all seperate stories, although one of them happened right after another one almost. Enjoy, although I don't think you will.

"She'll never love you." It hisses, in the same icy cold tone it always speaks in. "Remember? She's what your kind calls 'heterosexual'. She could NEVER love you. You're female as well. No one could love you, actually..." I flinch, cringing and trying to make the tears stop. "I-I know that... I'm just too much of an idiot to give up on her..." I reply, thinking the words rather than speaking them aloud. "So you refuse to give up on a lost cause, yet you give up on yourself? You give up on yourself, when so many of your annoying little companions do their best to help you? You truly are the most pathetic being I've ever known. Worthless fool, you might as well kill yourself. Isn't that what you had been wanting to do anyways?" I don't know what to say by now, and even if I did, I'm crying too hard to say it. Sobbing by now, I hear one more word inside my mind before I pass out. "...Moron."


I slept fine just the other night. Last night, not so much. I had a strange dream, really, but I think it was more real than a dream should have the right to be. I had a dream I was all alone, sitting in black, empty nothingness. Then, a voice speaks, a very strange voice. I can't tell if it's male or female, and it sounds like it's hissing at me. "Oh, you're here. I've been waiting for you..." I look around, but I can't see anyone anywhere. "I just want to help you. You've been depressed, right, honey? I can make everything better. Not just that, but I'll protect you. I'll protect you from anything that could cause you any form of pain or suffering. Your enemies, your choices, even the people that try to help you but only make it worse. How does that sound?" I took a very long time to think this over, but this strange, unfamiliar voice seems to be very patient. Then, after what feels like years, I nod slowly. "Good, good! Just remember... I'm your friend. I want to help you. Don't listen to anyone else, the only friend you need is me. Everyone else may seem nice, but they want to hurt you. Pay no mind to what they say, they don't care about you. I care about you. Some people may claim to love you, whether it's romantically or just a friendship. But they don't... And you don't love them. I love you. You shall love only yourself, and need only me. Okay, hun?" Then, like the idiot I am, I whisper into the black nothingness. "O-okay..." After I spoke, I could have sworn I heard laughing. And maybe, just maybe... I might have seen a wicked, skeletal grin, razor-sharp teeth showing, with glowing blood red eyes to accompany the grin. Or maybe that was just my first hallucination... Or maybe I was already insane at that time. I'll never know.


"...And that's all you have to do. Okay? You can do it. I know you're brave enough. It should be easy." I nod as the voice gives its instructions to me. At first, I'm afraid. But this was going to help me, wasn't it...? It promised... I knew it would help. Right...? So I followed the instructions. They were simple, at least at first. The first ones were, at least, then I had to do the last one... This one sounded unpleasant. That, and I would have to do it while I was alone. So I faked sick to stay home from school that day. After mum left for work, I was alone in the house, aside from the cats. It took some guts, but I eventually walked into the small kitchen, and grabbed a small knife from a drawer. Then, I wrote the words I can still, to this day, read on my arms. "Sickness, I welcome thee." On my left arm. Then, on my right arm, the words I was stupid enough to cut into my own flesh. "I am your eternal slave, and I am yours to control and command."


"Sleep, darling. Go to sleep. It's almost seven in the morning..." The voice that has now been in my head for quite a while speaks in a cold, yet emotionless tone. I flip over onto my back, whining. "I can't sleep. It hurts too much..." I wave my arms around a bit, cringing as I see all the bleeding cuts over my arms. "Why do I have to hurt myself? You said you'd protect me..." The voice chuckles dryly, responding casually. "I am protecting you. It's just an odd way of doing so. Now SLEEP, you need your rest. I want my friend to be healthy. Besides, you've just gotten done telling those new... friends... of yours of your problems, correct? Told them about me? They told you to sleep..." I nod in response, sighing, then close my eyes. I promised I'd always listen to the voice, so I decide to do what it's telling me and sleep. After a long time, I managed to fall asleep. I wish I hadn't. That was when my punishment, which by now happens almost every night, started. The nightmares. This one had me screaming and crying when I woke up. I had a nightmare I slaughtered my best friend, Tiffany. Not only did I completely destroy her, in a way too gorey and bloody and vicious for even the worst horror movie to show, but I ENJOYED it. In the dream, anyways. It was like I was watching everything from somewhere else. When she was dead, I could see myself, covered in blood and gnawing on bones, laughing and giggling with the creepiest, most physcotic look I had ever seen on my face. That was only the first one... So far, in what I like to call my 'Punishing Dreams', I've killed a lot of my closest friends. Tiffany, as you know. Liz. Ceara. Sanna. Kiarra. Riann. Several others. The thing is.. at first, I didn't know why it had started. Usually, nowadays, I have those kinds of nightmares if I don't do what the voice tells me to do. So I eventually, as in just today, asked it why the punishments had started. The answer was quite simple. "Because you made friends, and you told them about me and your problems. That is why you now have punishment, darling. It's for your own good."


I already know I'm pretty much insane. Or at least, close to. Usually, this scares me so much. I don't want to go insane, I don't want to be lost. But there are some times... When I want to be phsyco. Seriously. Then I wouldn't need to worry about anything, right? Right? I'd be too insane to notice anything was wrong. So now I'm sitting here, talking to some friends, listening to music as I'm typing this. And I'm thinking, "Being insane doesn't sound too bad..." while someone's saying in my mind, "Give in. It's easy... Just let go of your control. Give in. Give in. What? Having a hard time thinking of what to do? Well, decide, then." Honestly, part of me is very tempted to take this offer. The other part is so ******* scared, while one part... I think I'm already in the process of going crazy. I really do think so. The worst part is... I don't know if I want to or not. "You know it'd be best. You wouldn't need to worry about anything, and your nightmares would go away... All your problems would just vanish." The voice says. Maybe it's right. I don't know. And sometimes... I don't care. Sometimes, I think as long as I don't have to worry, nothing matters.

...Yes, all this has happened. Believe it or not, it has.