PROLOG-

It was a cold and dramp night,I was raceing through the forest,jake fast asleep on my back from exation.I was panting and his eyes where filled with terrow.As I ran through more bushes there was a ferce growl not far away "I know your there,Strike"the Wolf said.I ran as fast as i could but there where still racing feet folowing me."No!"i thought as i stopped running.I was at a dead end.there was no way around it apart from over and there was a small gap only jake could get through.I woke jake up as thee footsteps got louder and louder."Uhh"jake moaned wakeing up.I pushed jake through the bars and said "Go and find help,forget about me just keep safe!" "I cant leave you here!"jake said trying to grab my hand and cwarl back under."No.you must go and find help,now!"i urged.jake ran off into the distents."I know your there"the wolf said looking down at me.he pirced his sharp clars right through my chest.i fell to the ground gasping for breth.the wolf left grinning to himself."no..."i thought "no...."

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Like it sofar?

(I may use some other chars.you will find out.im also still thinking of a name for it)

No one has commented yet? Well, I guess I will then! :) This shows some promise, I like it! For future reference, just be a little careful with grammar, like punctuation and spelling and whatnot, because sometimes even the best stories can be hard to read if there are a lot of mistakes. But we all do it, and that makes us human :) Keep at it, and I'm sure it will turn out great!

This is good so far! =D
I'd just separate sentences a little, used to do the same thing when I started.
Nice job for a first try!! ^^

Thanks all ^^ Chapter 1 is nearly done,i just need to go through the grammer!

EDIT!!!!!

Heres chapter 1! (Some of the chars you might not know ^^)

Jake woke up the next morning. “Uhg, where am I?” he moaned to himself. He stood up, now he remembered he was trying to find ether Danni and stripes or Electra. He started to walk through the dark forest with only a little light peeking through the trees. It started to get lighter as Jake saw the end of the forest. He ran out the dark and damp place and ran through the city.

Meanwhile storm walked from where I was losing everything. Storm went through the bushes and leaves sticking into his bright red fur. He reached into his pocket and held the chaos emeralds into the air. “CHAOS CONTROL!” he shouted as a bright light appeared and as it disappeared so did storm.

Danielle was walking along as she saw Jake running. He saw Danielle and sighed with relief. He ran up to her and said “Danni! Storm hurt strike and I don’t know what to do, can you help me?” Danielle smiled at Jake “Of course I will! Do you know where strike is now?” she replied.

As Jake and Danielle went to the forest Jake stopped. He sniffed the air to get on the right trail “This way!” he said racing into some bushes. Danielle followed him as jake saw Me lying on the ground,with blood all over my back.”STRIKE!!!!”Jake said running towards me. “Strike, are you ok?”jake manged to say to me.

Ah, this is much better. Much easier to read and understand! :) It's much more solid now, and I like what I'm seeing so far! Keep at it!

I agree! good job once again! ^^

Not to be a critic of fans here, but I do admit you have some points which need improving.

first of all, Spelling and Grammar, put spaces between commas and the following words. Try and use Microsoft Word or another program which allows you to spell check, it comes in handy.

I see that the story isn't very "in-depth", try and add more than what you have to the story. For example, in Chapter 1, all I knew was Jake was in a forest, then through a city, and back again. Don't be afraid to add Detail, Detail, Detail, Detail; it helps the story add some more to it and keeps readers interested and feeling that they were in the same situation, as if what they were Reading was coming to life before their very eyes.

Add some more sentences to the story, lengthen in up a little; short and sweet chapters revealing very little won't help the story, so when you type in chapters, try and make it long, and try to reveal as much as you can without overwhelming the reader.

And last but not least, ask for Constructive Criticism instead of the normal "thumbs-up", motivation by silly talk such as "Very well done!" is not as rewarding in the long run than someone taking a long winded review of it and its problem so that you may deal with them and hope to improve your skills as you progress through your story.

I think this is great =D keep it up, you have me hooked

@ Riku:Thanks!

@ Trixie:^^ Thanks!

@ Strelok:........

@ X power~Yay, new reader!

I agree, but he also could use encouragement, which I try to balance with criticism. He needs both, and I think he now has both. Thanks for the tag team effort! :)

And you are welcome Strike