Title: War Of The Hedgehog Centrions
Description: Look back and see Echinda's VS Hedgehogs
Seeker The Hedgehog - March 29, 2009 07:21 PM (GMT)
^Chapter 1: The Brutal Accident^
Dr.Joker Echidna was working on his first creation:
Echidna Centrions.
He worked on them for hours and hours. And suddenly he finished!
"Rise my Centrions, rise!" He commanded.
He left the workshop and went to get some spare parts for another creation.
Suddenly, in the workshop, his 1st Echidna Centrion, Trap, went wrong and flew out of the workshop. He saw Dr.Joker and flung himself at Joker.
Dr.Joker was slammed into Trap, and Trap laughed menaically.
"What is my next command, master?" He chuckled.
"Your next command is to SHUT YOUR TRAP UP AND SHUT YOURSELF DOWN!" Dr.Joker yelled.
"Never." He growled.
Dr.Joker said nothing and grabbed Trap's metal wrist. He dragged him to the Mecha Vet Place.
^Chapter 2: The Problem^
Dr.Joker went in the Mecha Vet Place and went through sliding, unfinished, rusty doors. He walked up to the Receptionist and pointed to Trap.
The Receptionist immediatly knew what to do.
"Does your Echidna Centrion have a doctor?" The Recptionist asked.
"No. Should I ask...?" Dr.Joker asked.
"No. We will schedule one for you right away, Dr.Joker." She said.
Trixie Prower - March 29, 2009 11:53 PM (GMT)
I like the title. =D
One thing though, it's only a few sentences long, chapters are normally very lengthy, I'd suggest adding more text to the chapter. =D
Seeker The Hedgehog - March 30, 2009 12:05 AM (GMT)
Ok, can I add more toomorow? (Sorry, I dunno how to spell it...XD)
Strelok - March 30, 2009 03:16 AM (GMT)
If you can't spell, you don't belong in the writing world.
supertails07 - March 30, 2009 03:46 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Strelok @ Mar 29 2009, 11:16 PM) |
| If you can't spell, you don't belong in the writing world. |
Not to mention that most browsers DO have a spell check, feel free to use it.
But yeah, that contains less content than the average teaser trailer.
Seeker The Hedgehog - March 31, 2009 09:59 PM (GMT)
Strelok, I take that as a severe insult.
Strelok - April 1, 2009 01:04 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Seeker The Hedgehog @ Mar 31 2009, 09:59 PM) |
| Strelok, I take that as a severe insult. |
If you can't spell Tomorrow, then find a program so it will spell check, we can't read something if it isn't spelled correctly, it will sound like gibberish.
The Truth hurts.
Seeker The Hedgehog - April 1, 2009 10:44 PM (GMT)
Well, atleast be more polite to members like US thankyou very much!
supertails07 - April 1, 2009 11:36 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Seeker The Hedgehog @ Apr 1 2009, 06:44 PM) |
| Well, atleast be more polite to members like US thankyou very much! |
I have a few things to say
1. He could do much worse in that department
2. You are only one person, don't refer to yourself in plural
3. The way he said it was not very offensive (note he said IF you can't spell)
4. The one banner in your signature stretches the page, I would appreciate if you remove it.
Seeker The Hedgehog - April 3, 2009 11:03 PM (GMT)
I removed my 2 banners in my sig and I will add more.