Seriously. That shit has to be an urban myth.

What the FUCK is this thread FUCKING about.

Wiping your butt, rookee. Simply put.

Yeah, I think its impossible.

so do you guys stand up to wipe your ass??

Of course... do you sit!? Art thou of the female kind?

ha, um, as of last time i checked im not....


seriously, why the fuck stand up? that just doesnt make sense

u do that exercise where you pretend your sitting in a chair.

u have to train to reach ur ass?

I squat, since it opens up my ass cheeks when I do. ;)

i wipe before i poo. U guys do it after?


j/k
bu ti stand too. I dont really want to reach down teh toilet bowl. DOtn know what i might grab.

wtf? you guys stand up?

don't your buttcheeks close in, and become rather painstaking to peel past them while holding a piece of toilet paper with one hand?

if it troubles u, then put on foot ont eh toilet seat so it opens it right up. Sor to fliek a dog peeing,.

*platypusvictim9 does the awkward turtle and hides in a corner

Actually I stand, and kinda, um, stretch out my cheeks to wipe, god this thread is weird. I also take my pants off, like all the way, anyone else do this, or am I alone?

it sok, i take my patns off allt he way too.

wow, so complicated

why don't you just stay sitting? it is so much easier..

is it just a matter of people unable to reach their asshole while sitting down?

no. its the matter that thers poo int eh toilet bowl and your hand might touch it.

I usually sit down when I wipe. I think this topic is worthy of being a poll.

I basically just reach past the goodies to the danger zone and get my business done. When I sit down on the toilet I sit at an angle so one cheek hits the seat first and then kinda roll over so it props my ass open. Works pretty well. Unless I have really runny shits there is almost never any need to wipe at all.

I don't get those people who sit down normally and squeeze the shit between their ass checks. I mean that's just sick.

But seriously, what is the point of this thread. This is kinda personal shit(no pun intended). If I wasn't half wasted you could bet I wouldn't have replied here


Another thing that gets me is when I shit it takes me line 30 seconds from sitting down till I'm done and wiped. I know people who spend like 20 min in there. What is the deal? Is it really that hard for some people?

EDIT:
@kasra12321: WTF does your shit stand straight up and down in the toilet?

Also I want to throw it out there that I'm a guy but I like to sit down to piss... anyone else? I mean why stand when you can sit? The time I spend in the bathroom is MY time and I like to relax. I don't care if it isn't 'manly' to sit down, sometimes it's one of the few opportunities I have to sit down and relax in the run of a day.

Wow. Guys are so weird. How shallow is your toilet bowl for you to TOUCH your...uh...-throws up-...I'm out of here.

beautifully put :clap:

Makes me forget that we are talking about shit.

@kasra you must have bad aim...or theres too much water in your toilet.

i'm not sayng that my tpilet is like that. I'm just saying theres chance that u might go too far down.

@rippdrive, for me, its easier to stand up and pee, i dont know why u would rather sit.
and lets get a girls opinion on this, what do girls do?

care to answer shadowpen?

if there in the confines of their own house, i see no problem with it.
sure, you might lose dignity inside, knowing you pee like a girl.

haha I take awhile when I poo. I'd rather get it all out, insead of farting for the rest of the day >.> hmm, unless you piss a waterfall (or maybe you don't, I dunno lol), I don't see why you would sit. Just stand and get it over with in like 10 seconds. If that little amount of relaxation time is that valuable to you, I would take a break from some stuff, and relieve some stress. ShadowPen, you should become immune to our antics in time (taken from Strat lol)

And lol at all the Kasra jokes.

Woohoo I'm not alone, and yeah, i just kinda prop my leg against something like the toilet to wipe.

i'm not alone. we're alike in many ways.


and i looke d at my toilet and its not that deep. i don't know how deep your toilets go or how much u poo. i just know i poo and reaching my hand in the bowl is sick. But this needs to be a poll.

No wait c'mon!
I think I speak for most of us when I say, how do you women wipe after ya'll are done?

Haha i agree with Ripp, peeing while sitting is nice. On the topic of wiping, I guess i sorta do a sort of Lean forward and bring the bottom up a bit. Standing completely up just sounds weird. Wiping without moving also seems awkward. idk, ill go try all the methods today.

Also speaking of staying on the can a long time. I usually like to sit for a good 10 mins. I either read the new time magazine, or bust out the DS and play some mario kart or tetris. Its some good Me time.

greatest thread ever.

reminds me of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tparcMKbiFk&watch_response (not a rickroll!!!)

omg that creeps me out dude, like I lend my bro a book or something, and he walks into the bathroom with it o.O he hardly tries to conceil it too, well sorta, he just like nonchalantly walks out of the room, and it's like, wtf how dumb do you think I am!?!? And when he got his psp, he goes to the can with it, and doesn't even bother turning the volume down O.o The door isn't a 5 inch thick wall of lead peoples. It also creeps me out when people talk to themselves while pooing, and it annoys me when they do that when they aren't (shitting that is)

k [/rant]

zombo thanks for the tutorial on wipping my ass.
now do you also have an instruction manual for your dick?

not to be taken offencive

don't they have toilets where the wash your ass for you?

ew.. gives me chills...<_<

omg, the bidet style toilets. In japan, they have these cool apparatus connected to the toilets with all these buttons. You cant say you hate the jet of water to your bum unless youve tried it. I aim to buy one of those types of toilets when im older.

Bidets sound cool, but think about it. A nice stream of water up your ass, splashing your waste everywhere.... I WANT ONE!

they have them at fancy hotels.
i almost turned one on after i was done peeing.
that would've been disastarous

standing up completely to wipe...
i've never even heard of this i would think if someone were to walk in that would be embarassing
now proping your leg up while standing that is fucking sick
i lean forward slightly to the left reach around with my right hand its comfortable for me
as for peeing while sitting down i dont do this that often and i feel kinda weird when i do if i have the time i might but i usually like to get in and get out
if there is a lot of people that are like creeping me the fuck out in a public restroom ill more than likely take a sit rather than having some dude stare my dick down

Scott it's not like we have the door open or anything, plus that's what locks are for.

Half sit Half stand.

It's not hard.

ill cut kasra some slack cause hes from iran
but seriously
this is so fucking weird
i seriously thought sitting was the norm
obviously not sitting all the way that would be tough

*platypusvictim9 imagines cross legged shitting

damn, i thought this had something to do with spinning and the wipe trick thing. but NOOOOO its about wiping your ass. anyways, i never think about it. take a shit, wipe my ass, wash my hands, get out of there. no complications/special tricks added.

Just shift your butt a bit forward, wipe and drop the toilet with shit into the bowl. That's how I do it. What's so damn hard about sitting down while wiping your ass?

yeah. i lived there for 8 years. Getteting used to a toilet isn't easy.


iran toilet =