umm i have this essay i had to type, and i dont think i caught all the misteaks, u guys wana check it for me, and give me some corrections and ideas/changes to make it sound better :)

Here are teh directions to the essay:

Movie Review/Critique:
Students may choose any move from the list below. After viewing the movie the student must:

- write a 2 pages typed (12 pointn font, double spaced, 1" margin) review/critique of the chosen movie. The paper must be part review and part critique.

-Half of the paper should tell about the story, explain the main characters and the plot. It should tell how teh story unfolded and if it's entertaining or boring. The paper should explain the film as if the reader/listener has never seen it.

- The second half should be a historical critique as to how accurate the film is. Does it have anachronisms (things that don't belong in the time period)? Do the characters act as they should for that time period? What historical characters are mentions or appear in the film? Are they portrayed correctly?

ESSAY:

World History Summer Project: Movie Review

Ben-Hur (1959)

The story revolves around Judah Ben-Hur, a rich Jewish prince and

merchant of the city of Jerusalem. After many years of being apart, Judah and his

Roman childhood friend, Messala reunite with themselves and try to restore their

brotherly friendship. Judah was, at first, thrilled that Messala became the

commander of the Roman garrison of Jerusalem, but later found he had become a

heartless conqueror. Not long after, Messala and Judah suddenly broke into an

argument over politics. Judah, then, refused to reveal the names of the leaders of

the Jewish resistance or to betray them in any other way. From this argument,

Messala claimed that Judah had betrayed him and the Roman Empire. Afterwards,

Judah and Esther, his childhood sweetheart, watched a parade from the top of his

house. While watching over the side of the house, Esther accidentally loosened a

roof shingle that fell and nearly killed the new Roman governor, Gratus. Messala,

quickly seeing a chance to higher his ranks, claimed Judah, his mother, Miriam,

and his sister, Tirzah, guilty for trying to kill the governor, although he fully knew

that they were innocent. Judah threatened Messala and pleaded to him for the

release Miriam and Tirzah, but he simply refused to set them free and asked Judah

to surrender. This angered him, causing him to throw a spear, missing him and

hitting a wall beside him. Messala quickly ordered the guards to chain him and

send him to the galleys for his behavior. As he trekked across the desert to join

the galleys, Judah and the other prisoners chanced upon a town called Nazareth,

where Judah, nearly fainting from thirst, was forbidden to get water from the well

while the others eagerly gulped down the water in cups. Seeing his thirst, the

carpenter, Jesus of Nazareth, defied the guard’s orders and gave Judah water,

thus saving from dehydration. After three hard working years as a galley slave,

Judah is offered to be a gladiator or charioteer of Rome, but he quickly declined

for the sole reason that he still would not become a free man. Not long after, they

spot enemy ships and engaged in a blazing battle with the other fleet. Another ship

rams their ship, breaking its hull. Judah quickly escaped, dived overboard, and

saved Arrius from drowning. Judah then stoped him from committing suicide and

forced him to float on a piece of debris. They floated by another Roman ship where

he was taken aboard and congratulated for the amazing victory. They were taken

back to Rome to see Emperor Tiberius. Judah, after returning to Rome, was told to

become Arrius’s slave rather then to return to the galleys. Arrius, then, adopted

Judah as his son, granting him the rights of a free man. Judah, being free, went on

a journey back home. On the way, he met Balthazar, one of the three wise men

that followed the star of Bethlehem, who introduced him to an Arabian horse

trainer, Sheikh Ilderim. Sheikh asked him to race his horses in the games, but

Judah refused, wanting to continue his journey. Arriving home, he reunited himself

with Esther, who was still living in Rome. Judah, angry at what Messala had done to

him and his family, confronted him and demanded the location of his mother and

sister by the next day in return for forgiveness. Messala sent someone to search

for them and they find that they are still alive but suffering from leprosy. They

were quickly released to join a leper colony. As the two swiftly left, they chanced

upon Esther, who, after seeing them, was told to swear secrecy about their

condition and tell Judah they died. Judah, feeling his search was over, took up

Ilderim’s offer and raced his horses, knowing Messala would be part of the races

as well. After some training, Judah, Messala and the other racers rode in an epic

chariot race, leaving some wounded afterwards. Judah, in the end, wins the race,

leaving Messala mortally wounded from an accident. As Messala lied on his

deathbed, he softly told Judah that his mother and sister are still alive, living as

lepers. Judah quickly found them and, at first refused to confront them, but then

afterwards is convinced by Esther to bring them to Jesus, but is too late as he was

already being sent to be crucified. As Jesus died on the cross, a terrible storm

broke out and they find shelter in a cave. Touched by the rain, Miriam and Tirzah

are cured of their leprosy, and Judah is finally cured of his vengeance and hate,

leaving him, and many others, cured from their relieved of their sins and jubilant.

The story was both brilliant and touching at the same time. Also, the chariot race

was one of the most spectacular climaxes to a movie I had ever seen. I enjoyed

this movie and consider it to be remarkably entertaining and would consider

recommending this movie to others as well.



Although Ben-Hur was a fascinating movie, especially for its time, it still

suffers from many anachronisms and historical inaccuracies. A number of

anachronisms were spotted, mostly around the chariot race scene. To begin with,

near the beginning, the mages were watching a brilliant star move quickly across

the sky. In fact, it was a Jupiter-Saturn conjunction so the movement must have

been much slower then it appeared. Also, the galley slave scene had been

completely fictional. In reality, galley slaves did not exist until the 16th century.

The Roman navy was composed completely of paid volunteers at the time. Also,

just before the race started, the chariots were given numbers, but at the time,

chariots were named by color. Not only that, before the race, you can also notice

tire marks in the ground, but tires were not invented yet. When the race was

started, as Pontius Pilate gives the signal for chariots, he drops a handkerchief, but

this practice was instituted under Néron, not him. During the race, you can also

notice a plane passing in the sky, which should not have been invented for

hundreds of years later. Also during the race, Ben-Hur is seen wearing a Rolex

watch, as was a trumpet player, which, again, was not invented for hundreds of

years to come. Again, during the race, you can also notice large screws on the

chariots which should not exist at that time. Also, in the arena, the large island in

the middle of the course does not exist; it was placed there to make filming easier.

After the race, Messala does not actually die, according to the novel. Instead, he

lives and plans to kill Judah because the accident, but his plans go wrong and, in

revenge, Iras, Messala’s mistress, murders him five years after the race. Also,

Judah’s conversion to Christianity and Judah’s mother and sister’s recovery did not

happen immediately after Jesus’ death, but earlier in the story, which is also

according to the novel. These mistakes and inaccuracies were found throughout

the movie, giving us a slightly wrong interpretation of the actual story. The

characters, however, acted fittingly for their time period. Some of the historical

characters of the story were Judah Ben-Hur, Messala, and Jesus, all brilliantly and

properly portrayed throughout the movie, although Jesus’ face was hidden from

view. Although I found the movie entertaining, I thought that they should have

been more careful to properly portray the story.


PLEASE HELP ME!!!

you seriously expect us to read all that?

lol no i expect individuals to spot out one or 2 misteaks at a time or something.. lol

*mistakes

you might want to watch out, turnitin.com will pick this up and you will get caught for plagerism if you dont remove it quick.

Well I just skimmed it, and here are a few tips:

You keep switching tenses. Reviews are usually written in the present tense.

Also, you can eliminate some redundancies:

Small typo:

Reword this sentence so it's less confusing. If you feel you're using their names too much, find other ways to refer to them.

This is neither a historical inaccuracy nor an anachronism, so you may want to omit this example.

Finally, if you feel you're using the same word too often, you can use a thesaurus.

Firebird addressed the tense changing and redundancies that I was going to to point out. My only advice does not really relate to this immediate paper but in the future try to rely less on frequent comma usage. I counted only a few sentences that didn't have any :P . You'll get heavily bashed by most college professors later on in your life, so you may want to develop better habits for the future.

Thx for yall help, i think thats good enough for me :P, i edited some, let my dad fix it up a bit, and printed it. And no, its not plagerism, i wrote this myself... lol well sorry for makin yall read this :P

turnitin.com just checks to see if theres anything like it on the web. That post will show up and you'll have a hard time explaining all that to your teacher... I would suggest editing it out... though I'm not sure it would help.

Of course, your teacher may not use turnitin.com. But they should.

not if I disable guest viewing!!! then the stupid crawlers wont find this post :hah: